Archive for March, 2012

March 31, 2012

Fun with Photoshop

Okay, so you may have already seen this one out there on the internet somewhere, but I just thought that I’d share this with you. Totally burst out laughing in the middle of class, not only because of the ridiculousness of the customers request, but the response that followed. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did! You definitely have to read the e-mail responses between the two :D

March 25, 2012

Nightmares

Lately I’ve been having nothing but nightmares. One after another after another. I don’t really know what the reason is. And they’ve definitely started after experiencing that sleep paralysis last week. They’ve been really vivid too. Almost as if someone fixed the projector in my mind that creates these nightmares and set it to crystal clear, 1080p. They’re not the really abstract ones either but really personal ones. Such as losing a close family member, about a friend that I haven’t seen since I was a kid, and failing at my responsibilities to name a few.

I know I’ve recieved really good news earlier this week but I still can’t help worrying about the future. Money is definitely one of those worries. It’s not so much me, but how much my mom has sacrificed to help me be where I am. In just a matter of years…her whole savings for retirement just withered up, to help me. Now she can’t take any vacation for herself or even get the Baja transplants to help aid with her hearing (she lost one side as a result of her brain surgery).

Not only that but we hired a lawyer to help find my dad so that he could help with some of the payments as stated in the divorce files. It turns out that the lawyer practically ripped us off. What pisses me off is that she took advantage of my mom because she has an accent, being from Korea. And I couldn’t do anything because I couldn’t go with her to those meetings to make sure nothing like that would happen. I’ve never felt this helpless about a situation.

Also I’ve always walked a different path then a lot of my friends. I look at them and wish that I had their life sometimes. So carefree and having the time of their lives, while I slave away doing school work and giving up a lot of freedoms that most people have. I can’t help but feeling alone sometimes. But hey, maybe I’m getting a little too deep here. Life goes on. And around here actually caring about things is a characteristic of being weak. Fuck that, having feelings means you’re human in my book.

Just a little song that’s been on my mind for the past week or so. Can’t get it out of my head, with it being a really sad song actually. Oh well, I hope that things will start to turn around for my mom at least. I should probably get some sleep actually, hopefully no more nightmares for a while.

March 23, 2012

The sun is finally shining!! Soo Warmmm. (+The Sunshine Award)

I’ve been putting this one off for a while, but today is a good day. I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but I couldn’t have a care in the world right now. I know this probably sounds stupid, but just breathing is such a blessing. Being alive, with the prospect of a great future and living up to the standards I’ve set for myself. I saw a picture not too long ago with the question “If your 5 year old self saw you today, would he/she be proud?” I never really considered that, but knowing what I know now and where I am at the moment, I would say yes.

I’m a real people person, although most of my friends would say that I’m pretty quiet. What?! Haha. But no really, I have met some amazing people along the way and that’s what keeps me going. That being said, I would like to thank Lady Barefoot Baroness for nominating me for the Sunshine Award. Haha, I never really thought of myself as being a ‘sunshine’ type of person. Now LBB first responded to a prayer request that I had a while back about some family stuff and my potential future. I was actually really touched that anyone would respond to that. Ms. Baroness is pretty much like a second mom to me haha. Always telling me to stick to what I believe in. Oh, lord yep definitely like a second mom. Anyways I thank her stickin with me and recognizing me for this award. Your prayers have definitely been heard judging from the circumstances that I’m in right now.

Alright so the Sunshine Award is supposed to be given to “bloggers who are inspirational, and who have impacted your blogging or your life.”

That’s awesome knowing that there are others that think I’m inspirational! Sometimes I can’t even inspire myself to get out of bed.

Anyhow, oh god here we go…so the rules:

  • Include the award’s logo in a post or on your blog (I put the alternate pic, hopefully that’s ok)
  • Answer 10 questions about yourself
  • Nominate 10-12 other amazing bloggers
  • Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs, letting them know they have been nominated
  • Share the love and link the person who nominated you.

So the questions:

Favorite Color: Sky Blue

Favorite Animal: The Cheetah (So fast…)

Favorite number:  5 (my hs soccer jersey number)

Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Root Beer (Can’t get enough haha)

Prefer Facebook or Twitter?  Facebook

My passion:   Making videos for my YT channel (although lately…got nothing)

Prefer getting or giving presents:  Giving (I don’t really like to be put on the spot when getting gifts, plus I’d rather see someone else’s face light up :P

Favorite pattern:  Oh…uh cool ones?

Favorite day of the week:  Friday, and just guess what today is!

Favorite flower:  I don’t have one actually…considering they just seem to flare my allergies :O Darn them.

And so for my nominations (in no particular order) : And I realize that I don’t have 10-12 nominees so to make up for that I’ll throw in why I chose the people that I did.

Lazy Happy Bored Happy Sad… – Okay so Wilhelmina definitely likes to throw out sarcasm whenever necessary. I love sarcasm and I love to laugh…so why not!? Anyways, being an engineering student (I can only imagine…I started out as one) and being able to retain a sense of humor is absolutely boss. Definitely have my respect :P

Alphabravoecho – So lately, the posts I’ve been reading have been taking me places I thought never existed. Things my imagination can only fathom. Alpha is super down to earth, humble about what he does and has been one of my first readers. I appreciate that. Keep safe man.

PURE INSTINCT – Oh lord, so where do I start. I don’t even know who this is…HAHA just kidding! Alright so, Aix is super nice. Cool person to talk to, really down to earth and funny :P One cool fact, I was able to witness her blog change from generally putting a damper on my day to posts that’ll put a smile on my face. Amazing change. Besides that, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her go through 20 different themes one day…I’m exaggerating, okay 19.

wittytruth – Every post that wittytruth puts up, you can just tell that a lot of thought and work was put into sharing the message with everyone who would care to stop by and take a look. Always covers everything from every possible angle and manages to find the silver lining in every situation. That takes skill and a good outlook on life. Really makes you wonder what the more important things in life are.

Sitamar – Every post I read from Sitamar, I am reminded that the world is not always a carefree place. However, I also have learned that from her that kindness can be found in any person if you search for it. Sitamar, is probably one of the most kind-hearted people I have had the opportunity to talk to. And I am constantly reminded that there are struggles every day, but it really takes a noble, gold hearted person to overcome those struggles amidst the darkness time and again. So thank you for that, I mean that.

somesummersunday – SSS always brings a smile to my face. Even when I’m having the most crappiest of days, just reading the stuff that she writes about…incredibly hilarious. If I had even a tenth of her ability of being sarcastic/hilarious…oh the possibilities. So thanks for brightening my days through the winter until the sun actually came out :)

thacourtjester – Jester isn’t afraid to voice his own opinion on various topics, which I admire. Always posts really insightful stuff. Haha, I also picked him so that I wouldn’t be the only bad-ass-dude with the ‘sunshine’ award. Haha, just kidding, I don’t really mind. Keep strong bruh!

March 21, 2012

Red Letter Day

Okay, so I don’t even know where to start right now. I’m so ecstatic I can barely contain it, let alone sit here in front of this computer to type it up. Haha, alright so just to give a little heads up into my situation before delving in…I am in Air Force ROTC right now. Basically how it works in college is that your first two years is kind of like an active resume building for ROTC. Basically a chance to prove yourself to the detachment why you are a good candidate to be an Officer in the United States Air Force. The summer of your sophomore year, you go to Field Training which is the equivalent of basic training for officers.

Anyways, not everyone gets to go to Field Training. Like I said, that ‘resume’ you’re trying to build is so that you can qualify for a spot just to go. This is usually the most unfortunate weeding out process that takes place every year. Last year I remember the sophomores competing to get one of these precious spots and the acceptance rate was a terrible 45% or so nation wide. Out of our well qualified group of about 46 cadets only 23 were chosen to continue on to go to Field Training. It was definitely a heart breaking time. Many who had given up so many things only to be turned away. The thing is if you don’t get a Enrollment Allocation to Field Training you can’t move on with ROTC and graduate from college as a 2nd Lieutenant.

Now I’m in my sophomore year right now and you could just imagine the stress of trying to prove myself, to earn a spot among the top of the nation to eventually become said officer. These last two years have been a crucible, molding me, shaping me to be a person capable of leading others. To ready me for my future career. One that has been on my mind for quite a long time. Our ‘resumes’ were completed and sent in to headquarters just before spring break and today we got word that we were supposed to report in to the Colonel, to know personally whether or not if all of the hard work put in was adequate to earn one of those EA’s.

I knew that we would be finding out sometime this week. But when I found out that it was supposed to be today, I couldn’t sleep at all nor focus in any of my classes today. This is basically going to determine my future and although I’ve made mental note of it…I haven’t really come up with a back up plan just in case this falls through. But anyways…

Turns out I got an EA, and that I’ll be going down to Maxwell AFB this summer to take that next step to becoming that 2nd Lieutenant. And I’m solid on that path now. It’s been such a huge relief…I still don’t know what to think actually. Not only that but we had a higher acceptance rate this year and turns out all of my buddies that I went through so much with, will also be around with me for the next few years until we graduate. The first thing I did was call my mom to let her know, and I’m pretty sure she almost passed out haha. She knows how much of a big deal this is for not only me but for our family (since we have a military background) and I am so proud to be able to walk down this path. I’ll even be able to help my mom with some finances and ease some of that burden off of her too.

It’s such a godsend, I’m still taking it all in right now. I never thought I would come to this day with the results that I got. And I just wanted to share this because of every person that’s stopped by here to read the things that I write. Know it or not, every single one of you has indirectly kept me going…allowing me to write what was on my mind to release the stress that was building over the months. I hate to keep mentioning this, but all of the support that I’ve got, amazing. Like I said I only had the intention of me being the only reader of this blog. So thank you for that. And as for me, I am going to celebrate and sleep well tonight.

Oh that last post was my 50th by the way. Did not think for one bit that I had that much to write haha. Oh, one last thought before I head out:

It’s all about perspective I tell ya.

March 19, 2012

Try Lucid Dreaming they said. It will be fun they said.

So Spring Break is now over and now all I have left is just that last push of a few painful months until I can finally enjoy some time away from school. The finish line is so close…but there’s just so much that’s going to be taking place in the next few months that the stress is really getting to me. What I will be doing in the future depends on the outcome of the few weeks to come. Anyways, with that being said, I haven’t been feeling too well lately.

I haven’t really been myself recently either, which I’m definitely kicking myself for (haven’t really said the smartest things in the last few days)…probably too much cough syrup haha. Yea, I’ll just go with that. Cough Syrup…yum. And I hate the notion of being drowsy all the time.

So I’ve been reading some articles on lucid dreaming and thought “Wow, maybe being able to control your dreams would be a pretty neat thing!” Now I really have no idea what lucid dreaming is and what it entails. I am absolutely not an expert with this kind of stuff and I probably should have just left it at that. I really should have left it at that. I really should have.

What I thought lucid dreaming would be like...

Anyways, I was feeling really tired after my classes and had the opportunity to take about an hour long nap. Being the foolish opportunist that I am, I decided that this would be a perfect chance to try to have a lucid dream of myself. Make myself the hero, you know that kind of thing. Now for this sort of thing I guess you’re supposed to lay on your back and relax until you ultimately fall asleep. The thing is I never really knew when I did fall asleep.

My room was dark to start with, nearly pitch black and I could hear all of the noises around me. The noises coming from the house. Water in the pipes. The wind blowing around my window. That kind of stuff. And since I was laying on my back I had a clear view of my door. Now if you haven’t caught on from previous posts, I don’t really enjoy the company of my roommates (but that’s another story…) Anyways I could faintly make out my door being opened very slowly and saw a shadowy figure, what I made out to be my roommate, walking towards my bed. I was about to get pissed really fast since he didn’t knock first of all, and I felt a prank coming on. The thing was all I could do was watch. And as the figure slowly came closer to my bed I noticed that he was holding something in his hand.

I could see him coming closer and I attempted to say something, anything to let him know that the gig was up. That I could see what he was up to. But no sound came from my voice. And I still couldn’t move. I began to panic as I couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on. All the while the figure kept coming closer to my bed, creeping ever so slowly. As it was right on top of me that’s when I broke awake in a cold sweat.

I took in a deep breath of air, since I must not have been breathing the whole time. My mouth had the faint taste of copper, of blood. My room was still dark. The door was closed, as I had left it. But what the fuck, I could’ve swore that my roommate was in my room…

I walked out into the hallway then went upstairs only to realize, to my horror, that nobody was home. Everything was dark. Everything was the same as it had been since I got home, so no one could’ve stopped by and left while I was ‘sleeping’.

I can’t exactly explain what happened. All I know is that I wasn’t dreaming and that I was still in my room. Everything was or felt real and talking about it now still terrifies me. Whatever was in my room was not my roommate. And I now wonder what it was that it was holding in it’s hand. I looked more into lucid dreaming and there’s another associated phenomena known as Sleep Paralysis. That’s the only conclusion that I can get as to what I was experiencing. I have never been more happy to have woken up from a dream before, but I still am not sure if I can breathe a sigh of relief yet. I have never had a dream that real, that horrifying, with the inability to move or do anything about it as it was about to happen. One thing’s for sure though…I won’t be messing with things that I’m not sure of. And I have to stop reading scary things before going to bed. Oh, and pardon my language…still shaken. But not stirred! (…and that was lame; once again the blame goes to the cough syrup)

March 4, 2012

So (nearly) concludes my week from Hell.

I’m actually afraid to type this in the case that I might jinx myself and extend this rash of horrible luck for a longer, unknown period of time. I must’ve tripped in a vat of eye of newt or some junk like that earlier this week because I have not been able to get a break since. The “Come at me Bro” attitude was probably a big mistake too, considering that I just angered the spirit of badluckedness even further. It’s just been one thing after another…and I have learned my lesson not to say that it can’t get any worse.

So to give just a glimpse of my week so far:

Tuesday, 28 February – Was tired as hell. Bought a Starbucks Double Shot in the hopes that I could stay up long enough to study a bit more for an impending test. Barely put it in the refrigerator when it spilled the entirety of its contents before I had a chance to drink it. $2.50 down the drain and I ended up with a 1/4 Shot.

Also locked my keys in my car. I have never done that before. Ended up carving $50 dollars out of my wallet. Money that I was saving for food and milk. Out of stress, bought some unnecessary clothes…furthering the deficit even more. Awesome, now at least I’ll be on somewhat of a diet. The “You-have-no-choice” one.

Except I don't get paid...

Wednesday, 29 February – Was chosen flight commander for my flight for the week. (ROTC) I have no problems with that except that it was the week of an important inspection. Which would be tomorrow. Didn’t get any sleep that night going over the procedures, so that it would be flawless.

Wanted to eat some cereal before going to sleep. For some reason I must’ve grown an extra arm, since I spilled all the milk all over my desk. Well, I guess no cereal before bed then.

Thursday, 1 March – Probably the one bright side to my week. Despite it being as cold as hell. I nailed the Inspection as well at the marching evaluation. Not a single worry* was given that day. Later, on the way to a celebratory dinner, my engine starts to steam. Turns out the hose to my water pump has a leak. Not only one…but two. Going to have to get that hose replaced. Hopefully it’s not cripplingly expensive. I barely made it home that night without my engine exploding on me. Hang in there car!! Me rove you rong time!!!

Friday, 2 March – Now car-less, I’ve had to rely on friends for rides to classes and whatnot. I haven’t felt this helpless in a while. Not only that but the check that I wrote for our National Convention was written out to the wrong person. So I’ll have to get that re-written. Nearly missed a meeting later on that day, since my ride was asleep until 5 minutes before…haha. Ha. Waa. WAAAA :…((((

Saturday, 3 March – Still car-less. Which meant that I ended up stuck at home with my oh-so-awesome roommates. Rolling around a bed of cat-hair (which I’m allergic to) while being shot at by paintball guns would have been a far more pleasurable experience. Had to bring up the fact that I wasn’t able to go to church the next day, since I was going to get my car looked at. I could tell that my roommates were crucifying me in their minds just by the horrible look in their eyes. However, I’m still here to type this…so I guess that’s a good sign. The silver lining to that day was being able to hang with some friends, doing some secret AAS stuff. Muhahaha.

Sunday, 4 March – Got to sleep in a bit. Until I realized there is a huge programming project due on Monday. Went on the Professor’s page to find the assignment, only to find to my horror, that there was nothing there. Sigh…well, I’m not new to these kinds of situations…If only my luck will turn around for a bit.

So, that is the highlight of my week so far. There have been other countless little things that I just couldn’t remember and things that I would rather not remember. So please!! If you have any to spare, send some good luck this way!!

If it were only this easy…Hopefully the rest of your week is tenfolds better than mine!! :D

If only...

*Usually replaced with a different word, if you’re familiar with the phrase.

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