Words of the Dead

In one of my Sociology classes today we had the opportunity to read a number of suicide notes, because that is the lesson that we are currently on. It was a really sobering experience knowing that the authors of these types of notes are not living anymore. How is it different than than any other works of literature written by long passed away people? Such as those memoirs by presidents past, history books written centuries ago, and those other works of literature by Shakespeare and other literary visionaries…Well for one, all of the ones that we had the opportunity to read through were written recently. Not only that but there was a voice, of pain, loneliness, and sorrow that was tangible throughout most, if not all, of them.

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I have never really felt any thing like the ping of emotion that I felt while reading through these. It really struck a chord with me especially, because I remember having a similar kind of mindset way back. And it is something that really connected with me even though I have never met the author(s). These emotions are something that we all share in, loss, heartbreak, and loneliness. What really got to me though, is the notion that these people were so beyond the point of hope that the only option was to give up. No one should ever have to reach that point. It’s almost a sad thought knowing there are more than 7 billion people now and some people are still alone. Anyways I could only imagine the faces of the parents as they came home to find this on the counter top. No parent should ever have to bury their children.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D7OP6UrBcQ (play while reading, put on repeat if necessary)

 

Here is one example that I felt really encapsulated all of the emotions that were spread throughout a majority of these notes:

Dear Family,

I want you all to know that this is something that I have been considering for a long time. I have been thinking about things very much and I have come to this decision out of my own free will. I knew that I have hurt all of you very much, and I hope that you don’t ever feel like I did it on purpose. I love you all very much, even though I never told you as much as I should have. Please don’t ever feel like you let me down in any way. You all have never been anything but the perfect parents.

God truely blessed me when he gave me this family. God gave me a gift one time and since the I have done nothing to repay him. I have let him and you all down so many times. So now I am taking this moment to apologize for it all. I know that this is very painful and confusing to you, but always remember this was my choice. At this time in my life, I am so homesick for a country which I’ve never been. I am just one step closer there now. I’m resting now ad I will see all of you again one day. I’d like to thank you for giving me life and allowing me into your hearts. Mom, I understand everything you said to me now. You have always been right. I know I could never pay you back but I want you to know that I understand. Please, please don’t feel sad because of me.

I am very happy with what I had here and what I’ve got waiting for me. I need you guys to be strong now, just like I know you are. You all will get through this together. Please always remember that this was my choice and the reason I did this is very simple. I’m tired of life. I’m tired of this place. I just don’t want to grow older. Dad, thank you for always being there, and for trying to teach me to be a man. You two hug (name) for me. I love you three more than anything, and this goodbye won’t be forever, just for a little while.

Mom, please tell (name), that I love him. (Name) is a good man with a good heart. He is just a little rough around the edges, that’s all. He is a good friend. Thank you all very much. I love you and always will.

Your Son and Brother

(Signature)

______________________________________________

We always seem to care about the loss of a person, but never to those that are currently in the struggle. It’s almost a shame that people will resort to taking their own life because of the amount of pressure has finally broken their limit. I know that for some people that they only need an outlet to share their feelings. Someone to listen to just what’s going on in their lives. And it really does make a difference when you are able to let those worries and hardships come out into the open and verbalize them. Find that outlet, be that outlet! You never know how much of a difference one smile, hello, handshake, what say you…that it can make. Let’s start focusing on the issues now, so that we won’t have to read any of these letters down the road.

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9 Comments to “Words of the Dead”

  1. Last night, I read Virginia Woolf’s suicide note and felt awful. And this letter that you’ve shared made me feel the same. Can’t blame them for no longer carrying on but I feel sorry and terribly sad for the ones they left behind and the emotional and physical distress that they were put in.

    • Addie! Yea, definitely it is a sad thing for a person to have to resort to taking their own life away. It makes it that much more difficult on those that they leave behind and no one should have to resort to that. Its really depressing reading their own words because they’re not just a combination of letters but you can hear them clearly and silently, inside your head, speaking directly to you.

  2. Back in 2004 I wrote my suicide note / my will. But I didn’t have time to finish it off, and after my attempt was thwarted and I got yelled at like a whole day I deleted it. After that I thought I wouldn’t leave a note. Nobody cared anyway. They just yelled at me every time I tried to ask for help. My existence has been nullified by others all my life, in the end I was too tired to even try and fight back. Meeting my sis and my former best friend pulled me out of the deadly silence. Now I’m here. Not gonna live long (genes and sicknesses), but long enough. I don’t think about death anymore. I’m no more afraid of it.

    • Antti! It’s great to hear from you, as always! That is such a shame that help is so hard to find. It seems like people are hesitant, or even afraid to help someone that is in need of help from themselves. Death is one of those things that people just don’t really think about until it stares them right in the face. We will all pass one day, but we shouldn’t have to walk the path of life alone. I hope you are doing well as always, and I hope to hear from you more as well!

      • I’m OK. Try to update blogs more often. Spend much time in Tumblr though. Have had lots of troubles this year but it’s getting better. Been only at home, with cat. Continue school in August. Greets, also from cat. ^.^

  3. It’s funny to think that suicides are now “common in modern society”. But that’s only because society has lowered itself so much that at times there are people who care about nothing and can hurt someone so bad and not feel remorse. Sometimes even after the victim’s death they don’t care. I don’t blame the people who have died to this

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