Archive for September, 2012

September 15, 2012

Sunset

The air hinted of Autumn. The breeze, of Winter. The sun dimmed as it gave one more effort before finally retiring to the cold emptiness of the night. Lights dotted the landscape, stars dotted the sky. An owl hooting off in the distance, somewhere in the forest. Someone coughs, lungs full of smoke, somewhere in the city. The barren empty city.

The man lay  there, in the grassy opening. Every breath becoming harder to take in as the minutes passed by. He thought of his life up to this point, touched the wound under his blood stained shirt. He winced not only because of the sharp pain in his chest, but also because the feeling of regret that burdened his mind. There were so many things that he had wished he had done. Things that he wished he had said. But as his pulse grew weaker, his vision fading, the only thing that came to his mind was a bitter cold.

He wished that he hadn’t been so ignorant, so stupid. He thought of his home, the familiar smell of his grandmother’s cooking. All the times that he had played with his siblings. Then those dark days, when his grandfather was on his dying moments. He still couldn’t hide the pain when it came to his sweet grandfather. So heart-broken was he that his parents had to pick him up from his grandfather’s tombstone. They had thought he had run away, but he had been by his side, out in the cold for one full week. Hungry, tired, sad. But without any strength. He thought of those days.

The brisk air brought him back to his senses. He knew that there was no hope. He had always wanted to grow up making a difference in the world and knew that it was a big, foolish dream at that. The silence of the night brought him a form of comfort. Silence, the only place where he was able to gather his thoughts. Find out what kind of person he truly was. He started to feel warm. Vision started to fade. The breeze flowing over the long grass in the field, gave him the sensation of flight. He took one more full breath, knowing that things would be better for him. And closed his eyes.

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September 8, 2012

The Great Getaway.

The weekend was a much needed reprieve from the harrows of the week prior. It seems like every single day was a week in itself. But oh well. My roommate had to go out of town to attend a wedding meaning I had the house all to myself today. For once I had the luxury of being able to just enjoy the silence. Not going to lie, I did absolutely nothing today. And I liked it. But these days don’t come around too often, so I was just taking advantage of the opportunity before things began to pick up again.

So in the solitude that I was able to find for myself I thought about the things that have been on my mind lately. Being an upperclass cadet literally means that I have to be the embodiment of leadership. I have a pretty sweet responsibility of being a role model to all of the incoming freshman and even the sophomores and everything we get taught in our class has to do with the L-word. Leadership. Everything we do is always under constant scrutiny and we are expected to set the bar higher and higher all the time, by our cadre (-our professors) Just by knowing all of the different aspects and ways to apply it in everyday life. There are literally countless ways to be a leader. Everybody is a leader in some way or form. The key being how to be an effective leader. I can practically tell you all of the traits of a good leader, but it’s the execution which is the hardest part. It definitely does a number on you after awhile and I’m starting to feel burned out by it. And it’s only the 3rd week of school!

I’ve been just a tad bit down lately also because I haven’t been to church in a bit now, especially after breaking away from the one I was in last year. I’m still looking around for a good one, but until then Joel Osteen has got my back. I tend to post when something is bothering me, and I find that to actually help me out. Not only because I get to vent, but also because I get to realize how much my problems are nothing compared to some others out there. It helps me to realize that I could be in so much more of a worse situation. But I also like to post because I may never know who my words reach out to. I am definitely optimistic in that someone may be able to take these words to heart.

I know because I found myself in that exact same situation years prior. I was definitely at a dark time of my life, but the kind words of some stranger absolutely changed my view of how I perceived my situation and how that although things may have seemed bad…nothing is permanent. Where you are in life can only be determined by, well, your own determination. And looking back, I have turned 180 degrees and come to a point in life that I never would have imagined myself to be in. So I just wanted to point out that it’s not impossible. There are others who need help and that you can be that help for someone out there. And I’m not just talking about blogging.

Take a few extra seconds to hold that door for the person behind you, throw in a few smiles here and there. People love smiles, trust me they do! Especially in today’s world, which seems to be dominated by news of people dying here or riots there. Wars over there, and people getting cheated on over yonder.

I may have used this one before, but I just love this picture!

I really have no idea what happened to this post, considering that I was just going to complain about how busy I was…but looking back, I really can’t follow the thought process, but I have to say I like how it ended up. (I never draft what I’m going to post, I just sit down and let my mind wander and take me where ever it wants to go, hence the lack of a coherent thought pattern). Anyways, I thought I’d share that before school started picking up again and I lose myself in my own thoughts again!

September 4, 2012

Tagged!

I haven’t really had anything on my mind or anything of that sort lately, so being tagged by Trying To Know Thyself has really helped to keep my mind focused on something nonetheless. So lately I’ve been crippled with a severe case of writers block and as I sit here nothing will come to my mind. I just feel really burned out lately and reading back through some of the posts that I wrote in the past brings back that feeling of nostalgia.

 

Those memories where I was so busy from school, but after coming home late at night…instead of sleeping like a normal person would I would have a nice mug of hot chocolate and let loose those things that were on my mind. Those memories where it was cold and dark outside, the outside of my window blurred by the rain and thunder and surrounded by howling winds. The only way I could express myself being through words and getting to know more of so many people with shared interests. Not going to lie, the only reason that this wordpress account is still here is because of all of the interesting, amazing, and genuinely kind people that I have had the opportunity to meet.

It’s definitely sad, knowing that some people have deactivated their accounts and I may never talk to them again. Not only that but just thinking back to all of the people that I got to know at school personally in the last year. But hey, I guess that’s life. People come and go. You just have to be careful about how much of your heart you let them take. It was good while it lasted. But you just got to keep looking forward!

 

Alright so back to the tag!

The Rules

1. I must post the rules.

2. I must answer the questions the tagger listed for me

3. I must create (or reuse) 11 questions for those I tag.

4. I must tag 11 people.

5. I must let them know they’ve been tagged.

Alright, so for this time since I just recently tagged 11 people, I’ll be skipping rules 3-5. But if you want to answer these questions as well, feel free to! You can even just post the answers in the comments. But that’s only if you want to.

The Questions

1. What is your earliest memory?

My earliest memory would have to be when I was growing up in Korea. My mom told me to get dressed for school. Now at the time I was going to a private school and we had uniforms that we had to wear. So I went and put on my purple sweats (because that was the uniform, I guess!) and we went to get some delicious snacks from the local market before we went to the bus stop. All I remember was crying my eyes out as she dropped me off on the bus to my first day of Pre-school.

2. Who is your favorite musician?

Hmm, I don’t think that I could narrow it down to just one musician. There are just too many people that I gain inspiration from. And that inspiration ranges a wide variety of genres. I always love to hear new things. Music to me is poetry in motion, it’s the bridge to the soul. I can tell you who aren’t my favorite musicians…the one’s that they play over and over on the radio these days. Sometimes it surprises me the crap they put on the radio.

3. What was the saddest moment in your life?

The saddest moment of my life was when I moved from my hometown, to go live in a totally new town. This happened when I was in 3rd grade. I was pretty set at the time, having made some really close friends (you know, the one’s you would get in trouble with ;) Turns out the move out couldn’t wait until the end of my 3rd grade year. My parents went with me to school one day and I got to say my final goodbyes. I never got to see any of those friends again. It’s ok though, that wasn’t the first time that I had to deal with moving. If there’s one thing that makes me sad, it’s that a lot of my friends now have had people that they knew since they were practically in diapers and they’re really close friends now. But I will never be able to relate to that. I always feel that I can never relate.

4. What was the happiest moment in your life?

The happiest moment in my life would have to be when my mom made it through her 8 hour surgery. She was diagnosed with a ‘large’ class tumor in her brain, and that although the chance of having a fatal surgery was slim, she could end up being paralyzed, or plagued with strokes the rest of her life after. Good news was, everything went perfectly. The doctor told us that strokes and paralysis are nothing to worry about since none of the nerves were damaged throughout the process. I honestly thought that my relatively short time with my mom would end right there, that life after would be different. But she is 100% now and that strength is what gives me the motivation to do the things that I am doing right now. Every time I feel like complaining, I just think about all of the things that she sacrificed for me to get here. I can’t let that go to waste.

5. Do you have any embarrassing moments?

I have one, er a few. But one that I will share with you. Now this wasn’t embarrassing on my part but I still felt just as awkward. So one day I came back home from school. And it was one of those wintery, gray, lifeless days. Cozy. Anyways, I came home and dropped my stuff off in my room. I had to go to the bathroom so I went. Now, usually when the lights in the bathroom are off and the door is semi-open, that’s a good signal that it’s empty. But was it?!? NO! It wasn’t. My roommate thought that it would be convenient to be taking a dump with the door wide open and the lights off, because he thought that I wouldn’t be home for another good bit. Anyways, I felt so awkward. The minute that light switch went on and that surprised expletive left my mouth. Our conversations after that one moment were never the same.

6. Did you go to college, if so what did you study?

Hmm, I am currently a college student. And although it’s just hectic trying to balance AFROTC stuff with school as well as heading community service projects, I am studying Sociology while working on a minor in History. It’s definitely a lot of reading that’s for sure. But it’s nothing though compared to programming. <–That is definitely commitment.

7. Who is your favorite literary character?

My favorite literary character would definitely have to be Jay Gatsby. He is a man that seems to have everything. But in reality he is just looking for one thing. The poor guy only wanted one thing. And he ended up dying living a life that was never fulfilled to its potential.

8. If you could have any book turned into a film (that wouldn’t suck) what book would it be?

I know that it’s already been done, but I would definitely have a movie of the book “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”. Just think of a 2012 remake! Even though the original movie was pretty good. Jack Nicholson is just one creepy looking guy haha!

9. If you could switch lives with someone who would it be and why?

I would definitely want to switch lives with Bruce Lee. He was such a great role model for many people. Also I would want to know what kind of training he did daily and what motivated him to do the things that he did. And to be a student of my own philosophy. That would be pretty intense.

10. Do you enjoy ebooks or real books?

Definitely real books. There’s just something about the smell of a new book and the satisfaction of opening the crisp pages that only a real book can have. Plus it’s what I grew up with! I don’t know, it’s just a different experience reading a book from reading a screen. I just feel like it’s easier to be engulfed in the plot when you’re not staring at some screen for hours. Which is one reason why I really dislike when teachers assign readings from those e-textbooks. It’s just too hard to focus.

11. Have you ever seen/experienced any sort of paranormal activity before?

No I can’t say that I have, but I would love to go find a haunted house and do a little stakeout, Ghost Adventures style. I feel that you can’t really know unless you experience it for yourself. It would definitely be scary, and I probably would have second thoughts in the end. But exciting nonetheless.

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