Archive for January, 2012

January 24, 2012

Cross-Roads

 

Every one will eventually reach a crossroad in their life. Sometimes, the decision on which path to take is clear cut, but other times it can be a life changing one. As I sit here, mid-homework, I realize that I’m about to come to one of those cross roads. But before I go further into that I just want to reflect on who I am, and how I got here.

I was always the quiet kid. I was always that one kid that would rather be left alone. The one that always sat in the corner. Maybe it was just me trying to cope in a life without a father. I was only 5 or so at the time, but it was a dark time for me. Scary too, since I just moved to the United States not long after. (Most people don’t know, but English is my second language.) Anyways, it was in these times that I was trying to figure out what love truly was, what friendship could bring to a person. My mother (who is the most wonderful person in the world by the way!) was the person that first taught me that friendships have no boundaries. Being young at the time, and going through a stage of life where kids are first to judge on appearance rather than substance of personality, most kids didn’t really want to have anything to do with me. All because I didn’t have the same hue of skin color and ultimately didn’t look like them. I didn’t mind, but on the inside I did. All I wanted was to have a normal life and for people to accept me.

No boundaries

As I grew and finished elementary school and started to progress through middle school I made some friends here and there. I was lucky because these were the friends that were always by my side, no matter what. I still hang out with them even today from time to time. It was a little surprising because being thrown in a new country and what-not I had no idea what to expect or even what a normal life would consist of. I mean there was nothing wrong with me, except the fact that I had no family. Except for my mom. Bless her soul. She was the one that helped me become the person that I am today. She taught me that true friendships have no boundaries, and that happiness is a mode of transportation. Not the destination. Because of these two little pieces of invaluable advice, as well as a whole lifetime of others, I was able to break myself out of that self-doubt and truly live the life that was meant for me.

Happiness is a key point in my life. I always wondered why I was never happy growing up. I was never happy as a kid. Maybe because I was missing half of my parenthood. But that person is out of my life now, he never had anything to do with me and that’s fine. We move on. That’s just how it goes. Happiness is just a matter of how you look at things. The fact that I’m breathing right now, and that I’m relatively healthy is enough for me. One thing that I found though, in order to be happy, is that you have to accept yourself. Nobody’s perfect. I can’t stress that enough. I looked past all of my insecurities and realized that I was much stronger than I had previously thought to be. I was able to become familiar with a majority of the students in my highschool enough that I was voted Prom King senior year. I never thought in a million years that that would have happened to me. I would definitely be the last person on my mind that would’ve won something like that. It’s usually all the football players that get nominated for that stuff. But just being myself was the key. The football guys actually voted for me! Not only that, but I finished high school ranked 4 out of 289 with a cum gpa of 4.5 (Not that that kind of stuff matters in college anyways.) But I’m not trying to brag, the point I’m trying to make is that you are the captain of your own life.

It's all you.

You choose where you want to go. And attitude really goes a long way. Knowing that you will be happy will be significantly more successful than hoping you will be happy. It’s all up to you.

Considering that, I’ve also learned that we are all human. It doesn’t matter our skin color or ethnicity or religion. We are all of the same flesh and blood. Why we go/have gone to war over trivial details as those is beyond me. We’re all living this life together. And there is no reason to make it harder for each other. It truly saddens me to know that there are still racial issues around the world, and although I may have not have been victim to a stoning or lynching or any other thing as horrible as that, I still know the pain of being alienated. It’s truly a sad thing.

On another note, I’ve also seen the good that humanity has to offer. There are still good people out there. Definitely harder to find nowadays, but still there nonetheless. I’ve had the good fortune to be raised by a strong woman and to have continuously met others as I have gone through my own trials and tribulations. And I just want to give thanks to those people, even though they’ve moved on with their own lives and may never read this. Not only that but, I also wanted to thank all of the people that I’ve met here too. If you’ve made it down this far, you guys are definitely keepers :P But really, I created this blog with the expectations of me being the only reader and that this would be a place where I would just keep my own memories for memories’ sake. So thank you for your unbridled support.

Anyways, so back to where I am now. I’ve reached that crossroad, and I’ve made a decision. I will become an officer in the Air Force as soon as I graduate. The training for it has already started for this semester (AFROTC) and it’s going to be tough. The road seems uncertain because there are so many others that have chosen to walk this path that I have chosen. This is the semester that will make or break me. Looking back, it was the kindness of other people that has gotten me this far and through this kindness I’d like to give something back. So wish me luck! I’ve already had a few honors being in the program but it’s all about the grades now. So here’s to a productive semester, which means that I may have to give up this blog for awhile…at least until I know for sure. So once again, I thank you for making it with me this far and inspiring me with all of your posts! You guys have had a real impact on how I view things, and that is a gift far greater than any tangible object. And don’t forget, it’s because of the sacrifices of people like Jim (see photo below) that we are able to say the things we do, without any fear or threat of consequence. So remember, that one day, that kid that you never knew may be the one that will give the ultimate sacrifice so that you can stay comfortable in your homes and share your thoughts with others. There’s no need for hate. Especially when we’re all in this together.

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January 23, 2012

Creepy? Or am I just a mean person…

So, I’m guessing that many of you are just wondering what kind of roommates that I have. (Of course you are!) Well, it’s kind of hard to describe actually. But, for ‘R’ (the one that I mentioned in these posts here and here) I think I may have found a really close representation of him without having to secretly video tape him. I’m sure he wouldn’t consent to me videotaping him anyways, he would probably think I was sucking out his soul or something of that manner.

Alright, so one of my friends had the kindness to forward this video to me just recently. Gee thanks.

Anyways, watching this video made me cringe like a snail that had just had salt thrown in it’s eyes after being doused in vinegar. Because it was a near representation of my roommate ‘R’. It was almost as if he was staring into my soul and I could just feel the my life being drained away by the voice that was uttering from that face. I mean, I’m not picking a bone or anything with the kid in the video. Maybe the ladies secretly all want their boyfriends to make a dedication video like this for them, I have no idea. But this was really creepy. I mean it was more awkward than the one time I accidentally walked into my Uncle taking a deucer right after the Thanksgiving feast. Worst part, we made eye contact since the can is directly facing the door. That image is now permanently burned into my corneas. And we can never look at each other straight anymore because of that.

So, I just thought I’d share that with you, since I have to deal with a very similar personality  to the kid on the video on a day to day basis. Imagine watching this video everyday, except the video was a person and that person was your roommate. I mean, I can’t be the only one with creepy roommates…am I?

January 21, 2012

I don’t need a smart phone!

Ah the cell phones these days. They can practically do everything. Hell, you can even talk to them and carry out conversations especially with the new iPhone (Siri). It’s kind of cool but creepy at the same time. I could’ve sworn that that was what people were for…not the phones themselves. I’m too poor to afford a smartphone. Anyways I don’t really need one. I can calculate things using my calculator, and take pictures with a camera. And I can talk to actual people. It only needs to make calls and texts to be smart in my book. And figure out the occasional tip too.

And anyways, it isn’t the phone that makes it smart, it’s the person behind it. So, on that note I just wanted to share with you some autocorrect fails that actually made me laugh out loud. Enough so that my roommates thought some animal was being brutally murdered in my room. Good to know that my laugh sounds like the last breaths of a dying beast. Which is not true. At all.

 

 

 

 

 

January 20, 2012

On a side note.

I found this when I should have been doing some homework. Glad to know that I have the focus of a 3 year old in a candy store on a hot mid-summer afternoon after a spell of torrential rain. Yes, I know that made no sense and I don’t care. However, we all have a little girl inside of us. Especially when I realize now, that I haven’t got anywhere in the past few hours. So please. Enjoy.

January 19, 2012

They’re starting to tailor, alright.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to receive a spam comment just so I could see how horribly put together it would be. Especially for things that I was writing about. So especially after reading this post a while back by someone that has an art with colorful language (haha, I meant that as a compliment ;D), you could imagine the joy that I recieved when I finally got one of my own. I was able to actually read this one before it was deleted and I couldn’t help but think ‘Wait, what the hell…’ Well anyways, here it is:

Currently I am wybkroz resist them was easy trail. Of the decisive factors of production to the environment jniest prawinie Bedzin takznie dispersed mixture of beauty attitude commitment on the part of staff dealing with insurance. Levo will be one of the deep emotions and make a kingdom ruled the country proverbially poor. Distinct separation of the transcriptional regulatory processes over time will produce left native lands. Deoksyrybozami two neighboring countries with many restaurants by the will of wagonuw normalnotorowyh tworzycielska for a truly African antelope or expropriation.Bualgu break in. trust and love for performing horses, carried out secretly. Correct pronunciation of speech sounds folds voice is referred to the umbrella and the assumption of low-interest loans were slow stabilization and soon everybody know other languages. Manual adjustment of the pneumatic weapon supply centers and recreational centersthey become less ordered, this plaza you make lots of sports. By writing letters to the brethren peasantry from there and started scratching at the age of eighty four years of killing in bliss. Plenty of cold beer evaluated in continuous dial. Write please consider himself Polish chapel was consecrated. Gray got the idea in Latin would take Ender stinks from afar was cruelly ended a guy on the intensity of vibrations received by the courtiers picked-ne. Gommage gently cracked nose and skin care for Valmont tried to reserve the facilities you will find we are a specialist point of Lichtspiele lasi. Many of kicks in my dream vacation- because first you have in the head by a gate leading from Smołdzino journalists arrived to occupy 580 billion, which compounded the left councilor council dysfunction. Meiringen and my solution of the problem reached after aspiration of liquid contents, or waxy. In krullu will be heir to the throne and look for places to sposobnego sofas and serving attractions, whom he claims. Outline of the exercise of prints located around her practical mind worked so hard. The scope has not changed candles gigolo candidate he thought threw a sad sight on the course of the river is located, it was silent for such a right must you collect. Whatever it is it gets hot with maximum znym good orientation and to restore the efficiency of and the points passed and alongside the treasure land of lush curly coat. Links connecting to the upcoming series beginning rays of human nature to want revolution, first on the ground dotted with gold bracelets on the left is already quite a few say the secret to all three friends.Party occupied the description of paintings and speech and directed to prepare for shrugs. The right decisions in the thick predisposes to the development of photography in his mother’s estate at breakfast you may remember the story ideas were welcome dniedal cinema fans. We know about getting the harmony of ideas to the chemical content have their own laws. The apparatus is in the night I was with delight dolci alchemist would be willing to again. Graphic evidence of a recognized three-dimensionality is the ease with bergen city fell just one of many minor disasters on the day of the old building collectively deepened Galbraith approach is to park under. Guesses the fearful anxiety of a man with no mirrors, no secrets of this generation. Where there are conditions than have all joined by the collaboration. Extends these extremes since 1922 has occurred in August pensionsnext layer coatings produces abdominal compression. Good pastries with confectioners like a mule and a sense of mortification vulnerable farm in August guest roomsanother royal. I told him to find the amazing discovery of her forehead were loosely refunded to long before Roman Wilczyce nursing Romulus and did not allow different types of this explicitly after odjeciach not complicated! The new five hundred thousand advance equal proportions in the process of shaping the moral sense of the environment related to making the ontogenic duties in August.

I don’t expect anyone to read through that entire thing. I know I didn’t. I’m guessing that the original was in another language, but somehow, something horrible happened in the translation process. Not only did this turn into an abomination but I have no idea what it’s trying to say to me… I thought my first spam comment would have been pretty entertaining but this just takes the cake. I got a freaking story, a novella. Good to know that I’m worth typing up an entire manuscript detailing the life of some fictional person that had found “the amazing discovery of her forehead”.

January 19, 2012

You are significant. Fa sho. Yes, you. Reading this right now. You.

Alright, so lately I’ve seen or witnessed people that seem to be doubting themselves. Their confidence seems to be waning and I don’t really know what it is, well actually I do. I guess every once in a while we just feel that we’re just ‘another person’ in this world and that we can’t really make a difference. 7 billion people now huh? Crazy stuff. But what’s even crazier is that each person is unique and brings something novel to the table. Every person has strengths, it just takes some time for some to find theirs than others. No one should ever let little things/imperfections get to them. Because we all have them. You just have to choose what you want to focus on. I’ve seen the top picture a bunch lately but it’s not true. It’s all just a matter of perspective. And that is what the bottom one is all about. So, anyways, I just wanted to throw that out there because I know it made my day, especially with all the crap ton of homework I’ve already been assigned, maybe it’ll make yours. Sigh, I should probably return to my homework…

January 18, 2012

And so it began…

The trees swayed in the cool autumn air, almost as if they were sails in the distant wind. The leaves crackled as I stepped out of my carriage onto the gravel driveway that would snake it’s way to the front door. The atmosphere surrounding this place was dark, almost unforgiving. So much that even the sun decided to hide itself behind the clouds which led to a gray, overcast day. I took a deep breath of the earthen, moist air into my lungs and calmed my nerves as I began the slow march to that front door. I’ve been here plenty of times before, but why was I nervous this time? Maybe because it was nearing the sun’s retreat, only to leave the cold, dark shadows to play around with my mind.

Every step I took my heart jumped. Would they be there? Would the monsters be out and roaming the long corridors of this evil place? The sound of war drums erupted from my chest as I made my way to the front door. I only had to make it to the safe-room. Once (and if) I made it there, everything would be alright. The light that emanated from that one room would be enough to guard my life and my spirits. I know because I’ve been there before, plenty of times. It was my retreat from the world after hours of learning and tending to various needs, this was the place that I came to for safety when the cold, oppressive night fell. However, it is an accommodation in a lair of beasts. Beasts that lurked the corridors and the dungeon hallways looking, always looking to prey on the meek or slow. I’ve done it before, I’ve made it to this haven. Everyday in fact. What was so different this time that I could only cast nervous glances around me to make sure that I wasn’t being watched? Maybe because my spirits are weak. The constant volleying of surviving may have got to me and is wearing me down…

I took a deep breath as I lifted up my arm with all the strength that I could muster. Grabbed the door knob. Twisted. Turned. Opened the door. And my heart sank in my chest immediately, as I saw what was waiting for me behind the door. My roommate. He had waited. And now I was about to suffer a horrible fate.

Did you enjoy that one? I know I did. Totally surprised myself even with that twist! What should it be called??

 

January 17, 2012

The House of Usher

This last sunday, I was able to get a pretty rad (yes rad) deal on this one book I found at Barnes and Noble’s. The book happens to be the collective works of Edgar Allan Poe and includes all of his short stories and poems that he penned during his lifetime. And all of this for 8 dollars. What the fudge?! They were practically giving it away. And it’s like a thousand pages! I was so excited! I’ve always loved the works of Poe ever since I first read The Tell-Tale Heart in middle school. The stories were so twisted, so dark. I loved it!

And now, I have everything that he wrote and I can’t wait to get started, mind you. And there’s only one thing standing in my way. School. Sadly, it has begun again…and it’s definitely going to be one heck of a semester. Well at least I’ll be able to read about Amontillado, the Pendulum, and Lenore to help ease the transition back into my own house of Usher. Haha, when I read through it again I was a bit surprised at how accurate of a description of my house that the story had. Everything was practically down to the dot, except we don’t speak in old english. Just take a look at the picture I took of my house earlier today!

Just kidding, but close enough.

Oh well, at least I’ll have something to do in the meantime. On another note, I’ve reached a little milestone of just over 1000 page views today. I was really surprised in that in my own little goal of starting a blog, I would never have imagined it getting over 50 views considering the quality of my (mostly) pointless stuff. So thank you to everyone still with me!

I was definitely bummed to leave home again, to have to leave all of my wonderful family behind. However I find comfort in writing (especially when I’m away from home) because it lets me reflect on how I feel and lets me put down all of the great things I have to look forward to. So I really don’t mind if you don’t read these because it’s mostly a way for me to cope with whats around me. But it’s all for the better and one day I’ll look back on this and realize that it was all worth it. Now that I’m back though, and in the company of my estranged/eery roommates, I’ll definitely have more to write about. For sure, but first I got to stay focused because I am way too easily distracted. Especially with all of the other way amazing blogs out there.

January 11, 2012

No words necessary.

January 11, 2012

So it’s 2012 now, eh?

As of this moment, this is the third time that I am trying to attempt this post. Right now, I am just longing for sleep. But now for the second time in a row, my post decided to do another magic trick…and disappear on me. Again. I’m surprised this monitor is still in front of me at the moment. It’s actually kind of funny, since my first original post wasn’t that bitter. And in the subsequent ones I can just feel the venom seeping through my fingers into this post as I attempt it for the third and hopefully final time…

So, with this being the new year and all of course I am surrounded by all of this talk of how the ‘end is nigh’ and all of the related jargon (especially amongst my friends). It doesn’t really bother me since I know that they know that it’s just a joke. However, what really gets at me are the people that actually believe that we are living our last year here on earth. I mean purchasing a lifetime supply of peanut butter, napkins, and Pledge wood polish just doesn’t register. And since when did the Mayans gain credibility to determine the end of our time? HMMMM??? They’re not even around anymore!! To me this is just another one of those stupid fads, I guess you can call it, and it’ll pass. On December 22nd, actually, when the rest of the world realizes that it was just another day. It reminds me of the pant sagging that is still prominent in the area where I live.

Anyways, I will continue to enjoy everyday up until that day. And then enjoy the day after. And then the one after that.

On another note, I’m pretty sure the commercials today are planned and produced by infant chimpanzees that are locked up in a soft padded room. Their only means of escape being that they must make a random audience of college students crack a laugh. The only tools to aid them (based on the quality of these commercials) being a typewriter, a timer with a countdown of 45 seconds, copious amounts of sugar, and a man in a Jane Goodall* costume (to intimidate the poor things into coming up with more of these bombin ideas, of course!) Anyways, I was just watching tv when all of a sudden my eyes, ears, hell all of my senses were assaulted by this particular commercial:

It took me a few moments to register what I had just witnessed. The family at the beginning took the cake. I know that my family would never do anything like that in a million years. I’m still trying to figure out what Vanilla Pink is, since I got a brain freeze and I didn’t even have one of their slushys. Props to good marketing I guess. Words won’t do justice to describe this commercial, so I’ll just let you draw your own conclusions.

As for my New Years resolution, I’ll probably keep it at 1280×1024 like always. Haha, if you’ve already heard this one (please just go with it).

So, I’m pretty sure that I got the main points of what I wanted to share. I’m still really irritated that my post vanished faster than hand sanitizer at an engineering convention…But oh well. This better work actually**.

* I don’t have anything against Jane Goodall, I actually really admire her devotion to her causes of animal wellness and conservation.

**And I apologize to anybody getting random post/subjects from me. That is just me trying to figure out why nothing is wanting to comply.

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