Posts tagged ‘kindness’

October 28, 2012

One Year

Wow, it’s been a little over one year now since I started this blog. I have learned absolutely a lot, just from writing about things that have been on my mind at one point or another. I’ve probably learned a lot more just about the world around me than any school can possibly teach. I know it probably sounds like a stretch, but that’s what I got out of it.

One year ago, I was in a totally different place with other things that were plaguing me. I was in a house, living in a little closet of a room, living day to day. Always worried about the possibility that in that next semester I might have to go home if I didn’t get an EA slot that would have allowed me to continue on that path of becoming an officer in the Air Force. Living in a house of people that didn’t really know what it meant to be a true friend. They always preached the word, but they never practiced it. No one’s perfect, but realizing your faults is way more mature than pretending that you don’t have them.

But I realized that if I wasn’t able to somehow talk about the things that bothered me, it would destroy me from the inside. I didn’t really care that maybe no one would care to listen, it was all for myself anyway. I still sometimes go back and read the posts that meant a lot to me and it sometimes does bring me to tears (you didn’t hear that from me by the way). Not only was I able to get those things off my chest, but I also found out that I’m not the only one that has things to worry about. I met a lot of unique people, saw things through their perspective and realized that, yes, I have problems. But nothing’s going to change if you just wallow in your own self pity.

I have the opportunity to change myself as well as encourage the people around me. So why not use that gift that God has blessed me with and start making a difference? I tell myself this everyday, but even just the little things can make such a huge difference. A smile, taking those few extra seconds to hold open that door for somebody, little things like that. You can change someone’s life, you have no idea.

The news today only seems to point out tragic stories of murder, kidnappings, rape. Why is it always those things that tend to put a damper on one’s attitude towards life. There’s such a good side to life, but it can be hard to find if all we are exposed to are stories of war, death, and famine.

So if there was one thing that I learned in the past year, that has affected how I view life as well as carry it out is that no matter who you are, you absolutely can make a difference. It might not be world changing or nobel prize worthy, but being able to save someone in some way you could never have expected, is worth more than anything. So just know that you are more than one person in a world of 7 billion. It just depends on how you want to make your impression on those around you.

Don’t let those smiles fool you. I’ve found out that more often than not, the happiest people are the one’s that truly need someone to talk to. They always go out of their way to make others around them feel better, but no one ever aks them if they are ok. No one would ever guess. Be yourself, observe those around you. If someone needs help, never turn a cold shoulder towards them. These are all things that I’ve learned. And all with the help of one art teacher that I had back as a kid. I found this in my planner from middle school over the summer:

Today, one of the most beloved teachers at our school passed away. He was the only teacher that ever tried to talk to me about my problems and aspirations; and he inspired me even when I felt hopeless. He constantly struggled with severe health problems, but he was still one of the happiest/funniest people I knew. But he didn’t die from health complications; he committed suicide this morning. Why?”

One of the many people that helped me as I was going through struggles as a kid growing up. It’s really burned into my heart knowing that he went out of my way to set me straight. And to carry out his kindness, it’s been a personal goal of myself to carry on that legacy that he contributed to my life with. His encouragement really helped me to become the person that I am today, and his passing will not be in vain.

So I just want to thank you all for being with me for this long. I just hope that I was able to make some sort of impact on you as you all have had on me.

April 30, 2012

A letter to myself.

If you were to die right now, how would you feel? Would you feel that everything you’ve done up until this point has been your best? Would you have regrets, that maybe with a second chance things could have gone any better? I ask this because I realize that we all take life for granted. We’re here for one day, but who knows? We might not tomorrow. Everybody seems to live like they will live forever. But life is so fragile. You never know when you will be called to leave this earth. So why not live everyday like it would be your last? Not recklessly and in a stupid manner, but being 100% of who you are? You never know who will fall in love with that side that you are desperately trying to hide.

It’s such a blessing to be able to wake up every morning and to get up on my own two legs. To open my window and appreciate the warmth of the sun on my face. Today felt so unreal. My room was silent. I sat there at my desk and just took a minute to look around. Everything was calm, quiet. The only sound coming from the chirping of the birds outside. The air was still and the only light was from the sun, whose angled columns of light illuminated the dusty shelves and the posters on my wall. I may have only been here for one year, but there are so many memories here. The year is winding down, the campus getting quiet as people prepare for final exams. I feel as if I’ve been in this same position many times before. And I’ve hated this feeling. Of change. Of people getting ready to move onto the next stages of their lives.

What is the purpose of this life? What makes it worth living? I know I said that we should live 100% but why should I continue being kind when all I get in return are only scoffs and cold-shoulders? I hate seeing people sad. And when I do, I do my best to help them up, give them a smile. But when I’m down, who’s there to help me? Maybe I should just be happy when I see others happy. Is it bad that every person I meet, I give them a piece of my heart? Maybe bad for me, since every time they leave out of my life that’s another piece gone, torn away from my chest. I hate that feeling, but maybe if I’ve been enough of an impact somehow, that’s fine with me. So when you read this down the road, just remember: “It is better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.”

-Simon

December 31, 2011

The Simple Days

Every once in a while, I’ll have a dream. A really peaceful dream actually. I’m in a field, some sort of pasture and I’m free to run. Run forever and ever without a care in the world because there are no worries. The sun is bright, the clouds are high, the field is green. I could feel the cool air brush on my face as I’m running. Flowing through my hair and my clothes. Very surreal. I almost feel like I’ve been in a place like this before. But I never have.

Then I wake up and in an instant…everything is gone. I find myself facing another day, mostly of the same routines. I sometimes wish that I could fall back asleep and go back to that haven. That safe place where the monotony of this world is broken. But I can’t and I have to bring myself to wake up. I have to realize that maybe there isn’t a place like that. No where close to me anyways…

Hard to believe that another year is coming to a close. The Christmas tree in our living room is dim. The presents there no more. To be honest, I didn’t really feel a Christmas cheer this year. I feel like it’s just used as more of a marketing tool for many corporations to sell their products. It just feels like it lost that magic that made it such a special day. I remember when I was a few years younger the weeks leading up to Christmas would feel like I was in limbo. Christmas couldn’t just get here any faster! But this year, it just felt like another ordinary day…is this how adults feel about the holidays?

I was able to see War Horse today. And it was actually a touching story. Really enjoyed it. And I’m not really a fan of a boy-that-falls-in-love-with-an-animal type of story either. Looking a little past the story, I realized that before all of this technology that things used to be good and innocent. Everything was so much more pure. People were more open, more friendly. You could look into someone’s eyes and they would look back at you and smile.

Another show/movie that I watched recently was 5 Centimeters Per Second. I wanted to mention this one because reminiscing about life before computers and cell phones made me remember this gem of a story. The movie, in brief, is about this boy and a girl that are unable to share their feelings for each other. They eventually grow up and follow their own paths, but this movie was freaking heartbreaking. I was basically shouting at my computer the whole time for them just to admit their feelings for each other. And you know, I actually might have shed a few tears at the end. Or it could’ve been my contact solution. Yea, it was definitely the solution.

But absolutely stunning plot and visuals for both movies. But the point is that life before seemed to be more carefree. I don’t yet know if it’s just me growing up and moving away from the comforts of being just a kid or if it might be just the times. The internet may connect the globe, but does it connect hearts? I feel as if genuine kindness of the heart is harder to come by these days…but I’m not saying that it’s gone. You just have to search deeper, I guess.

Anyways, its officially New Years Eve now and I just wanted to get that off my mind. I don’t really mind if no one reads what I write. I just feel that it is soothing maybe even stress relieving to lay down what’s really on my mind every once in a while. So if you’ve happened to make it down this far, I thank you and I want to wish you a Happy New Year! New year, new beginnings right?

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