Archive for ‘Youtube’

March 30, 2013

Any help would be appreciated!

Hey everyone!

You all have been there for me time and time again and it’s one of those things that keeps me going, actually. It’s amazing to know that about a year and a half ago, I took that step to spill all of the emotions, experiences, and observations that I had in my life thinking that no one would even care. And that’s fine, since I was really only doing this as a personal kind of thing.

But when people started to relate to the things and thoughts that only I thought I had, it really opened my eyes to all of the wonderful folk out there. Those same people that were there for me through thick and thin. Reading through all of y’alls post reassures me to the utmost that there are good people with compassionate hearts still out there in the world. And although I only know most of you by your blog names, every person that follows, every person that I have the opportunity to interact with really does mean a lot to me.

All of those perspectives, lifestyles, views, aspirations. It is very refreshing to know that there are people still in this world that I have had the opportunity to exchange words with (even if they were only through this website as a medium). Each and every one of you have really added to my own personal outlook on life in some way or another and life means that much more to me. So thank you.

So I have just one favor, and it should only take a minute at the most. I am hosting a petition and all of your support would be well appreciated! Here’s the link to the petition. 

You can find more information there, but the main jist is to protect children’s access to food. 1 in 5 kids are exposed to a lifestyle where food is something that is hard to reach. And that should not be a problem for our children. My goal is to get 100 signatures, to raise awareness to this issue, and I know that this is something that can be done in no time. The WP community is one that I come to time and again for help like this, because I know you all have compassionate hearts. And if you could take that 1 minute to look through this proposal and sign this petition it would mean a lot to me.

It feels good to come back, knowing that people are still reading through my posts and sharing their ideas with me. I look to start writing some more here pretty soon, plus I need to get back at all of you for nominating me for these awards that I am always humbled to receive! There are so many other talented writers out there and when I get picked for these awards it really makes me wonder what makes me stand apart from them to get them.

Anyways, sorry about the long post, but there isn’t an amount of words to show how much I am grateful to each and every one of you. I will definitely make it a point to come back so I can catch up on all of your posts, because I know I missed a lot. But other than that, you guys keep being awesome!

And here’s a little something to keep you jammin in the meantime. Oh and Happy Easter to all of you!

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January 6, 2013

And one more!

I know I haven’t been posting lately, but there hasn’t been anything to procrastinate from in the past few weeks, being on break and all! Haha, but will definitely get back into the swing of things here pretty soon. With school looming around the corner and everything. But in the meantime, here’s one more award that Nina was kind enough to give out. It’s an honor to be considered inspiring, since at times I have to inspire myself to get out of bed. So thank you once again!

veryinspiringblogaward

So the rules :

* Display the award logo on your blog

* Link back to the person who nominated you

* State seven things about yourself

* Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them

* Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements

Seven things about myself:

1. One weird fact I noticed about myself. I always get 8 hours of sleep, exactly, when left to sleep in. No matter what time I go to bed, it’s always 8 hours. Weird.

2. I love reading horror stories! The ones that make you think well past finishing the tale. I just read through my brother’s copy of Scary Stories To Read in the Dark…and I still couldn’t get over how terrifying those images are that are scattered throughout the book. I just couldn’t get enough! And then I thought…how many kids has this book scarred already?

Yes, that is a severed head. A bloody, severed head...In a children's book.

Yes, that is a severed head. A bloody, severed head…In a children’s book.

3. Every time I come home for the holidays…I tend to eat way more than I should. But shhh, that’s only between you and me. I can never get enough of the pies that we have…Pecan, Pumpkin, Key-lime, Sweet Potato…oh man. I’m going to have to get a slice now, with some ice-cold milk. Thanks. Just thanks.

4. Courage the Cowardly Dog, and Samurai Jack were some of my favorite shows being younger. And I’m way excited since I just got the entire collection for both! It’s almost too good to be true….

5. I just found out that I qualify to be a pilot in the AF. I still have selection boards and everything, so even though it’s still a long shot, we’ll see how that turns out. It’s definitely opens up a couple more doors in the long run.

6. I will listen to a song that I like repeatedly…to the point where I just don’t find it the same as when I first heard it. And that makes me a bit sad, especially if I really liked the song…The latest song that I just can’t stop listening to:

Just listen through it once, preferably with RainyMood and you’ll know what I’m talking about!

7. I’m really into things that are paranormal, things that can’t be explained, but nonetheless creepy. Kind of weird but I like having those chills down my spine. It definitely gets the adrenaline going, and sharpens the senses.

And the Nominees:

bardessdmdenton

PURE INSTINCT

Words from my Soul

Anti-static Electricity

Sweet As NZ Girl

Alphabravoecho

Sitamar

Some Summer Sunday

whatthefuckintheworld

Rant and Roll

J P Marshman

Supersonic Euphony

The 19th Letter

Thoughts. Dreams. Memories.

The Serious Butterfly

Well so thank you once again Nina! You truly are an inspiration :)

October 27, 2012

Blessed

It’s definitely getting to that point in the semester where things just start to look bleak. I don’t know what it is exactly, maybe the changing weather, maybe just knowing that school just feels like it’s never going to end. A person can only take so much before straining under that pressure. And stressing about things really doesn’t help, but it’s hard knowing that my family is under so much financial constraints. We’re at the point of living paycheck to paycheck and it’s hard seeing my mom go through coupon books and buy things that she sees in advertisements, considering she has never done that before.

It doesn’t help that our college tuition has been going up a little every semester. Not only that but my car is suddenly experiencing a lot of issues that require going to the shop to fix. I felt heartbroken the last time I talked to my mom, because I knew money is an issue and she told me she sent some pocket money. This pocket money ended up being all of her tips that she managed to earn in September. She always tries to play it off that money isn’t really an issue, but deep down I know that it’s been hard on her especially. She had to resort to using all of the money in her savings account and her retirement money. She really has nothing left and I feel absolutely terrible in that she still insists that I take the pocket money she sends me, basically her monthly earnings.

I don’t know where I’m going with this really. I just don’t feel that I have anyone that I can talk to right now. My mom really has sacrificed so much just to see my brother and I succeed and it’s just a lot of pressure not to feel like I’m letting her down. I’ve been having really bad nightmares recently and they’ve only been getting progressively worse. I just hate how my mom will do everything that she can in order to help me and my brother, even if that means sacrificing her retirement savings.

But in all reality, I don’t think I would be here without her. Her strength in overcoming her brain tumor was what set me straight on the path that I chose and it’s just good to remember why I’m here. It’s definitely one of those things that have been on my mind lately and I feel that writing it down always seems to help. Maybe things will look up in the future.

One of my favorite songs from when I was a smaller kid. Makes me thankful for what I have, always.

October 7, 2012

So…much…homework…

So in order to massage my brain out of a self induced coma fueled by over 8 hours of straight homework, I thought I’d give my mind a chance to relax by posting about how my homework is slowly crippling my ability to function in a social environment. I don’t even know if that made sense, and quite frankly, I don’t care.

As of this moment, I’m sitting here in my room (which is totally dark by the way, save for one lamp [and it’s 3 in the afternoon]) surrounded by a water bottle which has nourished me for the last day and a half as well as some gum. I can barely feel my left leg, since I’ve been sitting on it for the past hour and a half now and the texture of my chair is imprinted…no, engrained on it like some unwanted tattoo.

So where am I going with this? No clue. Just thought I’d let my mind vomit out all this unnecessary information before going back to work and this is my way of holding back it’s hair. Wow, wtf. But really this next week is definitely going to suck, I don’t think I have ever had a test, paper(s), and a speech back to back before. And the funny thing is, I’m not even procrastinating this time! I’m trying to get ahead! But oh well.

Soon…

However, there are definitely things that I’m looking forward to. Can’t wait for Paranormal Activity 4 in a few weeks! Halloween too! Also, I just bought Portal 2 for 20 bucks, good thing it’s not going to finish downloading until about 10 hours from now…Otherwise I would have just doomed all of my attempts at being productive. It would have been literally the exact situation as in the Lord of the Rings when Isildur had to once in a lifetime opportunity to destroy Sauron’s ring…yet he decided that some bling was in order to decorate his pimp hand and to show those Orcs who’s boss. Literally.

Pimp hand, 97% complete.

On the other hand, I recently watched the new version of The Thing and totally had no idea that the new version is actually a prequel to the original. The ending scene is the introduction to the original 1980 something movie. It blew my mind. Not so much as the guy whose mind was literally blown apart by the alien-beetle-copycat thing. But still, close enough. It wasn’t bad I guess. The monster has the ability to mimic any other person and considering this takes place in Antarctica or somewhere similar, you could see that some trust issues are going to come up. Paranoia at it’s finest.

Trust me guys! I’m still human, it was just a scratch. Let me just give you a hug. I’m cold, you’re cold…we can make it work ;D

Anyways, I should probably get back to my homework now…especially if I want to sleep anytime tonight. Oh yea, I always seem to find the best music when I’m trying to do something else. Anyways, I thought I’d leave you all with this. This song makes me so happy! Wish me luck as I try to get through this week specially made from the depths of Hades with the sole purpose of ruining my sole purpose of having fun!

 

July 17, 2012

Call me a child…

…but I love Avatar. And this is just a little something that just had to do, now that after being back I have so much time…I don’t even know what to do! Anyways hope you enjoy ;)

Oh man…there is so much catching up to do!

May 7, 2012

And so…Finals week commences.

My study jam. Now I just need to study LOL.

And I will start that by being on WP, when I should absolutely be studying. My room is an absolute mess right now. I’ve got stuff everywhere. If a tornado were to somehow enter my room and just blow everything away, it still wouldn’t look as bad as it does now. Just add a few angry midgets in the mix with some wooden hammers and you’re probably on the right track.

Haha, on another note…I should totally have waited on posting these last two awards. At least until after finals week. The amount of traffic recently has totally kept me on here for way too long! But I’m not complaining. It’s amazing to know that when I first started…I figured that I would be the only reader. And now…I couldn’t have possibly have known that this supposedly ‘lame’ first attempt at a blog would’ve gotten to where it is now. But I just wanted to thank everyone out there for the incredible support. This blog wouldn’t be, if it weren’t for the incredible people that stop by and are kind enough to drop some advice, or wisdom, or even just a hi! Although it’s getting harder to personally thank everyone, it’s still one of the top priorities that I have. I think it means a lot more when you get a personal thanks from that person.

I know it totally makes me happier than a kid Christmas morning when some of the more well known blogs reply to something that I’ve said. Even if it may have been only one or two words haha. But it means a lot to know that they go through their comments and see who’s reading their stuff. So I’d like to reciprocate that as well. Boy, if WordPress was a class, it would be one of the few that I could ace without even studying.

Haha, I’ve finally narrowed it down to the last few comments :P

So anyways, this one’s out to you! Thanks for making this school year that much more bearable :) Now, should I finish up the night with some studying or by watching The Departed…

The Departed it is.

April 30, 2012

A letter to myself.

If you were to die right now, how would you feel? Would you feel that everything you’ve done up until this point has been your best? Would you have regrets, that maybe with a second chance things could have gone any better? I ask this because I realize that we all take life for granted. We’re here for one day, but who knows? We might not tomorrow. Everybody seems to live like they will live forever. But life is so fragile. You never know when you will be called to leave this earth. So why not live everyday like it would be your last? Not recklessly and in a stupid manner, but being 100% of who you are? You never know who will fall in love with that side that you are desperately trying to hide.

It’s such a blessing to be able to wake up every morning and to get up on my own two legs. To open my window and appreciate the warmth of the sun on my face. Today felt so unreal. My room was silent. I sat there at my desk and just took a minute to look around. Everything was calm, quiet. The only sound coming from the chirping of the birds outside. The air was still and the only light was from the sun, whose angled columns of light illuminated the dusty shelves and the posters on my wall. I may have only been here for one year, but there are so many memories here. The year is winding down, the campus getting quiet as people prepare for final exams. I feel as if I’ve been in this same position many times before. And I’ve hated this feeling. Of change. Of people getting ready to move onto the next stages of their lives.

What is the purpose of this life? What makes it worth living? I know I said that we should live 100% but why should I continue being kind when all I get in return are only scoffs and cold-shoulders? I hate seeing people sad. And when I do, I do my best to help them up, give them a smile. But when I’m down, who’s there to help me? Maybe I should just be happy when I see others happy. Is it bad that every person I meet, I give them a piece of my heart? Maybe bad for me, since every time they leave out of my life that’s another piece gone, torn away from my chest. I hate that feeling, but maybe if I’ve been enough of an impact somehow, that’s fine with me. So when you read this down the road, just remember: “It is better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.”

-Simon

April 14, 2012

Rain

The clouds are on the verge of spilling its tears. The sun has already fled from its post. The wind creeping ever so slowly through the leaves of it’s branches. The gray sky emitting barely audible growls. These are the days that I thrive in. The days that I feel most alive. These are the days that make me feel as if I have a home, away from home. It is dark. But there is something so familiar about this loneliness. Even though I am in the company of others, I am still alone. I’ve been here before, been lost in it’s wake. I’ve been lost, but also I’ve been found. Rescued from a life of despair. That is not my fate.

Although these days make me feel isolated, it brings me comfort. Why? I don’t really know. Maybe because it brings back memories of when my family was still together. Still happy. Not a care in the world. Back when things were simple.

I ran away from home once. Naive of me. I was only 6 at the time. It was a day similar to this one. It was raining and I just wanted to run away. Far away. I wanted to prove to my parents that I could take care of myself. I felt so free. Running through the empty streets. Only the splash of my footsteps and the rain hitting the metal roofs of the buildings as I passed them. Yet I also felt scared out of my mind. How could I do that to my parents? Make them worried sick? I came back and my parents were there for me. Gave me a big hug and I felt that nothing could ever hurt me. Being in the embrace of both of my parents. Nothing could ever hurt me.

Then my parents split. I was too young to understand it. But I did. Maybe I didn’t know what the exact reasons were. But I knew. From there my world was destroyed. We moved. I lost all of my friends as well as my family as we moved away. No one told me we would never be coming back. I grew up in a broken family. With one parent that truly cared about who I would be as I grew up.

Anyways, I don’t really know how much longer she is going to be around. So I want to keep every memory I have. Write it down. Now, why am I sharing this in the open? Well, I figured I would explain my name a bit more. Plus, although this may seem downcast, but you will never truly know who I am. I may walk past you one day and you would never know. And that’s how I would like to keep it. I’ve already lost too many friends, and I would prefer not to lose anymore. I’m just another person with another blog. Nothing special.

This is why I call rainy days home. It brings back that day when I felt so free. The day that I felt anything was possible. The rain washed away every fear that I had. Even today, it brings me back to that time. Where things were simple and all that was important was each other. It’s starting to rain now.

April 12, 2012

Shuffle

Alright, so I had my iTunes on shuffle (trying to get some homework groove on) and then this song came up:

Now, this was a bit of surprise since I’ve just been listening to some thuggin jamz lately haha. I almost forgot that I had this song. Anyways, the point is, this is one of the most beautiful pieces of music that I have ever heard. It really means a lot to me especially because this was the song I was listening to in the waiting room at the hospital as my mom underwent a brutal 8 hour surgery. I listened to this song over and over, persuading myself that everything would be okay.

When I heard this song today, my heart stopped for a bit. Because just in the craziness of everyday life, it’s so easy to forget the things that matter to you the most. I feel like that day, waiting for the surgery to be over, was yesterday. But it’s already been six years. (It’ll be six, this June on my birthday).

Time flies man. That’s all I can say. We’ve all got shit in our lives. That’s a given. It’s one of the most constant factors in our lives. You get over one hurdle only to see two more in its place. A real life Hydra. But it’s how we deal with those problems that makes you into the person that you are. Never give up, life’s a fight. And you’re here well and breathing. Might as well make the best of it. Make someones day, make them smile. Your day might seem like nothing is going right, but you never know. Everybody smiles, but you never know what is behind those smiles. Years of torment, pain, anguish. I’ve seen it, don’t ever want to see it in another person again. Life’s too short.

Anyways, those are just my thoughts for the evening. I just need school to be over already :(((

One thing missing though; we're not in this alone.

March 25, 2012

Nightmares

Lately I’ve been having nothing but nightmares. One after another after another. I don’t really know what the reason is. And they’ve definitely started after experiencing that sleep paralysis last week. They’ve been really vivid too. Almost as if someone fixed the projector in my mind that creates these nightmares and set it to crystal clear, 1080p. They’re not the really abstract ones either but really personal ones. Such as losing a close family member, about a friend that I haven’t seen since I was a kid, and failing at my responsibilities to name a few.

I know I’ve recieved really good news earlier this week but I still can’t help worrying about the future. Money is definitely one of those worries. It’s not so much me, but how much my mom has sacrificed to help me be where I am. In just a matter of years…her whole savings for retirement just withered up, to help me. Now she can’t take any vacation for herself or even get the Baja transplants to help aid with her hearing (she lost one side as a result of her brain surgery).

Not only that but we hired a lawyer to help find my dad so that he could help with some of the payments as stated in the divorce files. It turns out that the lawyer practically ripped us off. What pisses me off is that she took advantage of my mom because she has an accent, being from Korea. And I couldn’t do anything because I couldn’t go with her to those meetings to make sure nothing like that would happen. I’ve never felt this helpless about a situation.

Also I’ve always walked a different path then a lot of my friends. I look at them and wish that I had their life sometimes. So carefree and having the time of their lives, while I slave away doing school work and giving up a lot of freedoms that most people have. I can’t help but feeling alone sometimes. But hey, maybe I’m getting a little too deep here. Life goes on. And around here actually caring about things is a characteristic of being weak. Fuck that, having feelings means you’re human in my book.

Just a little song that’s been on my mind for the past week or so. Can’t get it out of my head, with it being a really sad song actually. Oh well, I hope that things will start to turn around for my mom at least. I should probably get some sleep actually, hopefully no more nightmares for a while.

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