Sleep Paralysis Pt.2

I have been feeling terrible the past couple days, and I think it’s just a combination of not sleeping enough, worrying about financial things, and just being ready for Thanksgiving Break. Last night I decided to do the unthinkable and actually go to bed at a decent time. Mostly because my body wouldn’t have been able to handle being awake for another couple hours. I’m literally running on fumes here. But I decided to go to sleep. And that’s when it started to get strange.

I was driving in my car and it was pitch black outside. It really reminded me of one of those old, black and white movies. Had a couple friends in the backseat, just jokin’ around and such. I noticed however that I could barely see the road though, and also to my surprise that my headlights weren’t working. I tried to drive at a good pace until when I rounded the corner and ran over this random snowbank. After one of my friends suggested that I should get my eyes checked in a joking manner, we kept driving. Every minute it started to get harder to see considering it just kept getting darker. After I swerved again and nearly went into the other lane, I decided that I should probably turn off the road and stop for a bit.

I was starting to get a bit nervous in that there wasn’t any turnoffs. I finally found one and started to slow down to get off of the main road, only to my horror that it was the street of where I used to live. For some reason there was an immense feeling of dread, and I knew that something was terribly wrong because for some reason I shouldn’t be here. As I continued driving down the road I just knew that it was just an omen to be there right now.

This is where things started to be terrifying. I knew that if I continued down this road something really bad was going to happen. So out of sheer willpower, I was able to do something that I have never done before. I turned the car around. At that exact moment, whatever was guiding me down that road, to my old house didn’t want me to turn away. It was an absolute struggle to turn the car around, and at that moment I heard something in the backseat. It definitely wasn’t my friends anymore, and I fought with all of my strength not to turn around and see what had replaced them.

At that exact moment, whatever was trying to get me to go to my old house let up, and I woke up. Something was kind of odd, in that when I went to bed, I left the kitchen light on and it wasn’t on anymore. I couldn’t see that sliver of light from under my door. Not only that but not even five minutes had passed since I had that numbing dream. I found myself lying on my back once more, and decided to get up to go see why the light had turned off. The only thing was I couldn’t get up. I was literally paralyzed. I have never felt more helpless in my life. I gave every ounce of strength I had into moving my arm. It’s like one of those time when you’re arm or leg falls asleep and you try to move it, and it’s not necessarily painful but it’s scary in the lack of control you have in moving.

I tried not to panic, but I remember being in a similar situation just last year and what soon followed. I knew that I had to get up before it came. I was nearly in tears but I managed to get myself up, although I couldn’t feel a damn thing. I struggled to make my way over to my bedroom door and managed to open it with what little feeling there was in my fingers. The hallway was dark and panic started to seep into my mind knowing that the light should have still been on. I tried to make my way across the hallway to the bathroom when I heard a loud bang. My knee ended up hitting the door frame. Hard.

As I struggled to figure out what was going on…I started to black out. When I woke up, I found myself in my bed. I looked at my alarm clock and saw that only 20 minutes had passed since going to sleep. I looked over at my door and saw the thin sliver of light from the kitchen from under the door. I sat up, with ease this time, in the dark and felt tears rolling down my face.

I have never been in a nightmare that bad, and have the strength to determine the outcome of it. I have never woke up from one nightmare into another, with the feeling of absolute helplessness as I tried so desperately to move. All I knew was that I wanted to live, and if I would have continued to the end of that street I knew instinctively that something bad would happen. How and why did I know? I honestly have no idea, I just knew. What is wrong with me?

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20 Responses to “Sleep Paralysis Pt.2”

  1. I had sleep paralysis once and only once. It took me several days to get over the creepiness of it. I was in bed. All of a sudden I heard this voice as if someone had put on a recording in Sensurround Sound and turned the volume up as far as it would go. The voice said, “Are you Mary Ann?” I couldn’t speak. When I tried to get out of bed I had the sensation that something powerful was holding me down on the bed. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t get up. That’s all I remember at this time. I wrote it down somewhere. I think it was about eight years ago. I didn’t believe it was a dream at the time, but later I found an article on sleep paralysis. I’m pretty sure now that this was what it was.

    • It is the absolute worst feeling. And this time it was worse because I knew exactly what was going to happen, or what was coming anyway. And I didn’t want to be there when it came. The first time, I didn’t really know exactly what was going on (I still don’t know now) and it was terrifying. There is something absolutely dark about having dreams like that. That feeling of paralysis. Being disoriented. I’m relieved that I’m not the only one though. And I’m also relieved that you don’t have those anymore. I just need a break…

  2. I have been a chronic insomniac for almost 29 yrs and I was able to recognize the body’s inability to completely shut down within myself when dreams like this begins. I rarely get more than 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night and sometimes less. When it is less my body and brain cannot reconcile with the being awake and being asleep There for in my dream state I am not completely unaware consciously, but my body knows to freeze to keep me safe. If I was to try to be mobile during these dreams I would no doubt hurt myself just b by was of an accident waiting to happen.

    My goal is to see this as a good thing and become less freaked out by the dreams them selves. I do know if I am dreaming I am sleeping, how bad can that be?

    My wishes that you find your way to sound sleep again ,or at least find comfort when you are unable and this kind of thing happens. Its is the unknown that is so frightening I think. ~ BB

    • Oh gosh, I can’t even imagine what that would be like. I’ve only been deprived of sleep only a couple of times and it wasn’t good for the next few days that followed. I couldn’t imagine going through that kind of stuff for years though…I definitely hope that you get some good rest, more than a couple hours at a time anyways.

      I will definitely try, I just have to make it to this weekend. Then everything will be good, for a bit.

  3. It’s really not good that you’re having these kind of dreams again. I never had it as bad as you, but I know how awful sleep paralysis is. Hope you can catch a break very soon! Take care of yourself. I know things must be tough for you but it doesn’t help anyone if you worry yourself to death.

    • I know! I thought once was enough…Yea, you’re right though, I just need to stop worrying for a bit. I never worry though, not as bad as this anyways. Oh well, I will definitely try. And I hope that you are doing great as well :)

  4. This was awesome. I had a bad dream that looped around endlessly and I woke thinking it was real. I have to remember to post that someday.

  5. I once dreamed that I looked down at my my hands only to find that they had turned into strands of spaghetti! Not quite the same thing, but I remember being terrified that someone would FIND OUT.

  6. Hi! Sorry I haven’t been in touch for eternity. Busy in school and forgot my blog. Had to close it now cause of the sensitive content and I’m using the same username in Youtube now and some spineless bitch reported my second FB account and youtube channel to police. I don’t know what happens, I don’t have anything illegal anywhere, but I might get back to blogging if they decide to close those accounts. And anyway I should sort my thoughts out once again. Well just wanted to let you know I’m not dead or completely gone. Wish you a nice week! We have independence day tomorrow and I have cold Coke and my favourite icecream here. :)

    • No worries! It’s always good hearing from you :D I totally understand. Well, if you do get back to blogging, then I’ll always be here. As long as I have homework that I should be doing haha :) I hope that you had an awesome Independence day and as for the coke and ice cream, you should totally mix those together and make a coke float!! Haha, well I’ll definitely be around a bit more here in the next few days since I’ll be finishing up my last exams and everything :D

  7. I had similar experiences too. They were not as intense as yours, but still they were terrifying. I hope it’s not going to be a regular thing. Take care :)

    • Absolutely! It’s one of those things that are really hard to explain…The moment you wake up and realize everything is back to normal, it still scary because of how vivid the dream was. I haven’t had another one like it yet, which is surprising since I haven’t been sleeping too well in the past couple days with my final exams and everything, thank god. But thank you though! You take care as well :)

      • Good luck with your final exams! I just had my last exam of the semester this morning. Finally it’s holiday!

  8. Wow, do I RELATE. This is enormous, and I have written of a similar PERIOD OF TIME – about near two weeks – that this was happening to me. Not the kitchen light etc, but the being paralysed. In fact, I felt held down. I took to reading the Bible at night – http://wordsfallfrommyeyes.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/the-great-comfort-of-unconsciousness/ – and I feared falling asleep, truly did. It was terrifying – and I had a young bub at the time. We ended up not sleeping in that particular room.

    Great reading of your experience.

    • Two weeks of having dreams like this?! Oh wow, I can’t even imagine…having them around once in a while is pretty disturbing enough, but two weeks… I totally understand though. It’s definitely an unexplainable feeling, one that only by experiencing it, will you know what it’s like. I hope that this isn’t a permanent kind of thing, especially in your case. Thanks for taking the time to read it though.

  9. it’s called sleep paralysis and the stuff you see is a hypnagogic hallucination. I’s relatively common, but it is scary as shit. I have these at least twice a month and there’s times where it gets worse and I get it like 3 times a week. But the thing you have to try to keep in mind, is that is only a dream, and even though it feels real, it’s just a hallucination. It can happen when you’re really tired and your body falls asleep and your mind doesn’t.

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