Archive for April, 2012

April 30, 2012

A letter to myself.

If you were to die right now, how would you feel? Would you feel that everything you’ve done up until this point has been your best? Would you have regrets, that maybe with a second chance things could have gone any better? I ask this because I realize that we all take life for granted. We’re here for one day, but who knows? We might not tomorrow. Everybody seems to live like they will live forever. But life is so fragile. You never know when you will be called to leave this earth. So why not live everyday like it would be your last? Not recklessly and in a stupid manner, but being 100% of who you are? You never know who will fall in love with that side that you are desperately trying to hide.

It’s such a blessing to be able to wake up every morning and to get up on my own two legs. To open my window and appreciate the warmth of the sun on my face. Today felt so unreal. My room was silent. I sat there at my desk and just took a minute to look around. Everything was calm, quiet. The only sound coming from the chirping of the birds outside. The air was still and the only light was from the sun, whose angled columns of light illuminated the dusty shelves and the posters on my wall. I may have only been here for one year, but there are so many memories here. The year is winding down, the campus getting quiet as people prepare for final exams. I feel as if I’ve been in this same position many times before. And I’ve hated this feeling. Of change. Of people getting ready to move onto the next stages of their lives.

What is the purpose of this life? What makes it worth living? I know I said that we should live 100% but why should I continue being kind when all I get in return are only scoffs and cold-shoulders? I hate seeing people sad. And when I do, I do my best to help them up, give them a smile. But when I’m down, who’s there to help me? Maybe I should just be happy when I see others happy. Is it bad that every person I meet, I give them a piece of my heart? Maybe bad for me, since every time they leave out of my life that’s another piece gone, torn away from my chest. I hate that feeling, but maybe if I’ve been enough of an impact somehow, that’s fine with me. So when you read this down the road, just remember: “It is better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.”

-Simon

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April 28, 2012

A little about me.

Alright so I’ve been getting some questions here and there as to who I am and what I do. Alright, so who I am. Easy! I’m just an ordinary college kid, living life, you know doing the normal things that college kids do. Like live off of a pretty horrible diet of Ramen and Macaroni and Cheese <—haha. As well as just surviving day to day challenges that life brings. Overall, life is good! Yea there are some rough days, like I might have mentioned a bit in that last post. But you get over it. It’s not the end of the world, and I’m breathing still, so it’s all good. For sure.

Exactly how I feel today lol.

School has definitely been kicking my but lately, but oh well, you do what you can. One thing I realized lately though is that if there is one thing that you want to do in life, you should definitely have a passion for it. I couldn’t imagine doing something for 20 years, 30 years, or even a lifetime’s work of work where everyday was a total drag and I hated going to work. Definitely choose something that you have a desire to do, even on the hardest of days. Because liking what you do is half the battle, after that everything else will follow into place. But not finding that right fit will totally throw you off and there really is no going up from there. Anyways, that was just from my own personal experience (and what little of that do I have lol) and I thought it would be worthwhile to share. Anyways, I see that I’m not that great at answering questions or describing much about me either. Seems I like to go off topic a lot haha! Oh well. Hopefully it was satisfactory enough.

Just a little something extra about me! Thought I'd throw that in there as well. (That's me in the center :)

April 24, 2012

Worst #@$%ing Day Ever! :)

First off, before you read, pardon the language. I can usually control my language but today was the last straw. But with that being said and you still have the patience to stomach it:

Everybody has had one of these days for sure. They are the absolute worst. It seems as if nothing, and I mean nothing, can go right the moment you wake up. It’s like the world decided, “Oh, Simon…you’ve opened your eyes. Let me give you the worst fucking day possible, just because I feel like it! ;)” I knew I was bound sometime or another for a day like this. Things lately were going well…too well I should say. ‘Twas only a matter of time.

Anyways, it all started with a group project that was supposed to be due today. Well, turns out that all of my partners couldn’t work on it, since they had work or some other thing going on. Awesome. So that meant that I got to work on the group project all by myself. Have you ever heard the term “being thrown under the bus”. Yea, I was totally thrown under the bus on that one. Not only thrown under, but the bus decided to go in reverse, crush my body some more, park on top of it before finally deciding to peel out and transport the children to prison, or whatever in the hell it is that those big twinkies do.

So we had to present today, and none of our group had their shit together. Except me. And to add insult to injury everybody wanted to take the easy parts of the presentation, like changing the powerpoint slides. Whoa, don’t strain yourselves, guys. Thanks assholes. This was supposed to be a group project but I ended up doing a huge part of the work myself. I say huge part because I didn’t even finish it last night. I actually asked one thing of everyone, one thing, and that was to add their names. But for fucks sake, they couldn’t even do that. Thank god though, we didn’t have enough time and before presenting our teach just decided to let us go next week. Saved some embarrassment that’s for sure.

Not only that, but I also had a test that I should have been studying for. Had a whole group set up last night and everything for some co-lab-o-rating. That didn’t work since I spent the entire time working on that fucking presentation. So I basically went into this test blindly. Cool. Nothing I haven’t done before. Thing is, this is for my hardest class. Please just shoot me now. Not only that, but some assholes at the library decided it would be funny to message a bunch of random people on my facebook and say retarded stuff. Fuck that shit. And people actually believe it’s me. Haha awesome. But I don’t really care about that. First World Problem.

Taking that test, I sat next to one person in particular. And everytime he talked it seemed like I was under a personal rainstorm. I dared not to wipe away the spit from my face since I didn’t want to seem rude. But I’m glad I got my shower in for the day. Not only that but after stumbling my way through that test, it decided to be super windy the 5 minutes it took to get to the parking lot. Hellooo allergies. Oh yea, thanks wind for being super accurate enough to blow every fucking particle in the air right into my eyes.

I came home and was welcomed to the shrieking of my roommate and his attempts at singing. I guess he can’t really sing on pitch and play the guitar at the same time, so that gave me a bit of a laugh. Other than that I came into my room to blow my nose and somehow ended up with a freaking paper cut on my hand. From what? Hell if I know. The soap fucking found it though.

Right now, I don’t care what else happens. The whole day has been pretty shit. But yea, it could always be worse. In reality these problems are nothing. But damn! Anything else you forgot to add, world?

Oh, does anybody know any good violin pieces? I find that listening to any song with a violin seems to be very therapeutic. Maybe I just need to sleep. 2 hours was definitely not enough last night.

April 21, 2012

Fun with Photoshop 3

Alright, I took a nap earlier today since I didn’t sleep well last night. And boy, was that a horrible idea. I didn’t just take a nap, I pretty much fell into a coma. Awesome. Haha, it’s getting late now and I’m not even feeling tired. Once again, awesome. The worst thing was to wake up from my nap and for it to be dark outside. Nothing is more effective than putting your mood into something as foul and black as Satans stool sample as taking what you thought would be a quick 20 minute nap into a four hour power snooze. But seeing that I’m as awake and alert as a one armed fugitive on the run from a mob of drumstick wielding orc midgets whose farts happen to deplete the o-zone layer (terrifying huh?), I just thought that I’d expose you to one more of these hilarious photoshop troll pictures. Oh, and I just realized that I have cereal. Honey Bunches of Oats to be more specific. Oh, and please learn from my mistake of never taking a nap in the evening. Or if you do, don’t wake up when it’s time for everyone to go to bed. Hahaha!

April 14, 2012

Rain

The clouds are on the verge of spilling its tears. The sun has already fled from its post. The wind creeping ever so slowly through the leaves of it’s branches. The gray sky emitting barely audible growls. These are the days that I thrive in. The days that I feel most alive. These are the days that make me feel as if I have a home, away from home. It is dark. But there is something so familiar about this loneliness. Even though I am in the company of others, I am still alone. I’ve been here before, been lost in it’s wake. I’ve been lost, but also I’ve been found. Rescued from a life of despair. That is not my fate.

Although these days make me feel isolated, it brings me comfort. Why? I don’t really know. Maybe because it brings back memories of when my family was still together. Still happy. Not a care in the world. Back when things were simple.

I ran away from home once. Naive of me. I was only 6 at the time. It was a day similar to this one. It was raining and I just wanted to run away. Far away. I wanted to prove to my parents that I could take care of myself. I felt so free. Running through the empty streets. Only the splash of my footsteps and the rain hitting the metal roofs of the buildings as I passed them. Yet I also felt scared out of my mind. How could I do that to my parents? Make them worried sick? I came back and my parents were there for me. Gave me a big hug and I felt that nothing could ever hurt me. Being in the embrace of both of my parents. Nothing could ever hurt me.

Then my parents split. I was too young to understand it. But I did. Maybe I didn’t know what the exact reasons were. But I knew. From there my world was destroyed. We moved. I lost all of my friends as well as my family as we moved away. No one told me we would never be coming back. I grew up in a broken family. With one parent that truly cared about who I would be as I grew up.

Anyways, I don’t really know how much longer she is going to be around. So I want to keep every memory I have. Write it down. Now, why am I sharing this in the open? Well, I figured I would explain my name a bit more. Plus, although this may seem downcast, but you will never truly know who I am. I may walk past you one day and you would never know. And that’s how I would like to keep it. I’ve already lost too many friends, and I would prefer not to lose anymore. I’m just another person with another blog. Nothing special.

This is why I call rainy days home. It brings back that day when I felt so free. The day that I felt anything was possible. The rain washed away every fear that I had. Even today, it brings me back to that time. Where things were simple and all that was important was each other. It’s starting to rain now.

April 12, 2012

Shuffle

Alright, so I had my iTunes on shuffle (trying to get some homework groove on) and then this song came up:

Now, this was a bit of surprise since I’ve just been listening to some thuggin jamz lately haha. I almost forgot that I had this song. Anyways, the point is, this is one of the most beautiful pieces of music that I have ever heard. It really means a lot to me especially because this was the song I was listening to in the waiting room at the hospital as my mom underwent a brutal 8 hour surgery. I listened to this song over and over, persuading myself that everything would be okay.

When I heard this song today, my heart stopped for a bit. Because just in the craziness of everyday life, it’s so easy to forget the things that matter to you the most. I feel like that day, waiting for the surgery to be over, was yesterday. But it’s already been six years. (It’ll be six, this June on my birthday).

Time flies man. That’s all I can say. We’ve all got shit in our lives. That’s a given. It’s one of the most constant factors in our lives. You get over one hurdle only to see two more in its place. A real life Hydra. But it’s how we deal with those problems that makes you into the person that you are. Never give up, life’s a fight. And you’re here well and breathing. Might as well make the best of it. Make someones day, make them smile. Your day might seem like nothing is going right, but you never know. Everybody smiles, but you never know what is behind those smiles. Years of torment, pain, anguish. I’ve seen it, don’t ever want to see it in another person again. Life’s too short.

Anyways, those are just my thoughts for the evening. I just need school to be over already :(((

One thing missing though; we're not in this alone.

April 3, 2012

The Top 5 Annoying Types of People You May Find in Class

Alright, so I was in class today and I just happened to notice all of the things that just bothered the crap out of me. I don’t know if it was the weather or what (it was brittlely cold today) , but it was as if someone just had the intention of making me have the most miserable hour and a half of my life. Just having this certain class is already bad enough. So I just wanted to point out the five types of people that you may see in your classes. Lucky for me, all five of these types are in the same class. And sit very near to me. Lotto bitches.

1. The One Who Makes it a Priority to Laugh at Everything

Alright, so this guy either has the ticks, or thinks that everything the professor says is hilarious. And not just hilarious, but almost as if the intensity of the laughter will save him from some unknown ailment. The louder the laugh = the better chances he has at surviving. It doesn’t bother me that people will laugh in class, heck I love laughing. But as much as I pay attention in class, I know that not everything he says is the freaking punchline of  an SNL episode.

Prof: “Alright class [insert lame joke, that’s moderately funny]

Class: [Snicker] {Chuckle} (Giggle)

This Kid: HARDYHARHARCHUCKLESNORBLEGLURP…swallow/breathe…HAHA..*cough..SWIGGLESWAGGLE

Me: Dafuq?

~Five Minutes Later~

Prof: [Another joke]

Me: Oh shi…

2. The Nose Picker

Okay, so this is the kid that seemingly has a cavern for a nose. Now, I know what my parents meant by ‘digging for gold’. Ok, if you have an itch or something at least try to make it as inconspicuous as you can. But for this kid, an itch is the last thing on his mind. Obviously there’s something of tremendous value, because the whole class was spent venturing in those dark recesses known as the  nostrils. I knew he was getting something out, because he kept flicking something away. At least he doesn’t sit too close to me. Oh lord, I was in uniform today and finding a nice little surprise on my service jacket would’ve meant the end for him. He was lucky today. Very lucky.

3. The Get-Too-Comfortable-the-Classroom-is-my-Living-Room Guy/Girl

Alright, so I know that sometimes class can be pretty early and that you can find yourself tired, dozing off maybe. But shit, my back pack isn’t your footrest!! Lord knows where your filthy shoes have been and I have some fragile things in there. And get your head off of me! I’m not your pillow. Jesus, if your that tired and can’t even stay awake during class, what is the point of even coming?? At least have some decency for the other students around you and keep your limbs to yourself. That is if you want to keep them, of course.

4. The “I’m-Never-Wrong”

This person in my class just loves to argue with the professor. I actually feel bad for our teacher for having kids/students like this. Everything this person says, he thinks is right. He always tries to add his own experiences and methods for making things work better and why his ways are more efficient than the teachers. Well last time I checked, our teacher was the one with the Master’s degree. And I know that your grade isn’t that well (I saw your test as he was handing it back to you). Also, you’re 40 (nothing against adult learners, but if you’re going to be here at least have the decency to let the man do his job). Heck arguing with the man is only hurting yourself. Practically shooting yourself in the foot. The prof totally set this person in his place today, but not wanting to accept defeat responded with an “Oh, I guess you could do it that way, too” Admit it man, playing with fire is a dangerous game.

5. The Debbie Downer Frowner

This person always looks as if his mother stuffed a rotten lemon in his mouth for breakfast as a prank. That she happens to do every single day. Holy crap, I know that this isn’t your favorite subject, I feel that pain. But jeeeeez, have you never learned how to smile? Not even once? I don’t know if you’re trying to look cool or what. But let me tell you, it’s not working. As a matter of fact, out of sheer generosity I almost bought you a bottle of laxative to maybe cure the pain that was showing in your face. Smile man! YOLO haha.

Alright well, there you have it. A one and a half hour glimpse into the people that I have to deal with for just one class. I know I can’t be the only one that knows people like this. Although having all five in one class is like being in the Twilight Zone, except for the fact that I relive it day after day. Hope you enjoyed :) It’s good to let these things off of your chest once in a while. I almost forgot what it felt like to write like this. Now I know what it felt like when Anakin fell to the dark side.

April 2, 2012

Fun with Photoshop 2

Haha, I know these are really lazy posts, but I just had to share this one as well. Could not stop laughing, and subjected myself to looking like a total idiot. Good thing no one was around though. I’m pretty sure my roommates thought that either I was dying or there was a stranded dolphin in my room. Probably the latter. I almost forgot how good of an ab workout laughter brings. Now I just got to find more things to laugh at… ;P

Anyways, if you want to see more, check the website out. There are a few more on there, but these are definitely some of the better ones. By the way, today was the most perfect day ever. It was totally cloudy outside, and was on the verge of raining. Sadly, it didn’t, it was just bitterly cold. Still scratching my head on that one though, since just yesterday the temps were in the 80’s. Oh well!

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