Posts tagged ‘happiness’

April 5, 2014

What is success?

Today, I interviewed a very successful businessman who also happens to be a quadriplegic. When I asked him what the number one thing was that led to his success, he paused for a moment and said, “It was a change in mindset that happened about two years after I lost movement in my body. I started living life like I had a lot less to lose.”

March 28, 2014

Words of the Dead

In one of my Sociology classes today we had the opportunity to read a number of suicide notes, because that is the lesson that we are currently on. It was a really sobering experience knowing that the authors of these types of notes are not living anymore. How is it different than than any other works of literature written by long passed away people? Such as those memoirs by presidents past, history books written centuries ago, and those other works of literature by Shakespeare and other literary visionaries…Well for one, all of the ones that we had the opportunity to read through were written recently. Not only that but there was a voice, of pain, loneliness, and sorrow that was tangible throughout most, if not all, of them.

Image

 

I have never really felt any thing like the ping of emotion that I felt while reading through these. It really struck a chord with me especially, because I remember having a similar kind of mindset way back. And it is something that really connected with me even though I have never met the author(s). These emotions are something that we all share in, loss, heartbreak, and loneliness. What really got to me though, is the notion that these people were so beyond the point of hope that the only option was to give up. No one should ever have to reach that point. It’s almost a sad thought knowing there are more than 7 billion people now and some people are still alone. Anyways I could only imagine the faces of the parents as they came home to find this on the counter top. No parent should ever have to bury their children.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D7OP6UrBcQ (play while reading, put on repeat if necessary)

 

Here is one example that I felt really encapsulated all of the emotions that were spread throughout a majority of these notes:

Dear Family,

I want you all to know that this is something that I have been considering for a long time. I have been thinking about things very much and I have come to this decision out of my own free will. I knew that I have hurt all of you very much, and I hope that you don’t ever feel like I did it on purpose. I love you all very much, even though I never told you as much as I should have. Please don’t ever feel like you let me down in any way. You all have never been anything but the perfect parents.

God truely blessed me when he gave me this family. God gave me a gift one time and since the I have done nothing to repay him. I have let him and you all down so many times. So now I am taking this moment to apologize for it all. I know that this is very painful and confusing to you, but always remember this was my choice. At this time in my life, I am so homesick for a country which I’ve never been. I am just one step closer there now. I’m resting now ad I will see all of you again one day. I’d like to thank you for giving me life and allowing me into your hearts. Mom, I understand everything you said to me now. You have always been right. I know I could never pay you back but I want you to know that I understand. Please, please don’t feel sad because of me.

I am very happy with what I had here and what I’ve got waiting for me. I need you guys to be strong now, just like I know you are. You all will get through this together. Please always remember that this was my choice and the reason I did this is very simple. I’m tired of life. I’m tired of this place. I just don’t want to grow older. Dad, thank you for always being there, and for trying to teach me to be a man. You two hug (name) for me. I love you three more than anything, and this goodbye won’t be forever, just for a little while.

Mom, please tell (name), that I love him. (Name) is a good man with a good heart. He is just a little rough around the edges, that’s all. He is a good friend. Thank you all very much. I love you and always will.

Your Son and Brother

(Signature)

______________________________________________

We always seem to care about the loss of a person, but never to those that are currently in the struggle. It’s almost a shame that people will resort to taking their own life because of the amount of pressure has finally broken their limit. I know that for some people that they only need an outlet to share their feelings. Someone to listen to just what’s going on in their lives. And it really does make a difference when you are able to let those worries and hardships come out into the open and verbalize them. Find that outlet, be that outlet! You never know how much of a difference one smile, hello, handshake, what say you…that it can make. Let’s start focusing on the issues now, so that we won’t have to read any of these letters down the road.

October 24, 2013

2 Years! Already?!

I just had to post a little something here for today. It’s already been two years since I started this thing. I remember sitting in my apartment trying to stave off of homework, ironically, which is exactly what I’m doing right now. I remember seeing some really awesome posts and thought, wow, maybe I could do that. It would definitely save me from studying from this test that I have. And so, that’s how it happened. And from then on, I was able to escape to here whenever I became stressed. It was actually really therapeutic. I could say whatever was on my mind at the time, and I would feel better for saying. No matter if anyone read it or not. 

It was something for me, something where I could just write down my thoughts so that my head wouldn’t explode. But then I realized that I’ve been going about this the wrong way. It doesn’t matter what I would post, because it’s just another post in a sea of endless thoughts, memories, goals, poetry. The real gem was reaching out and getting to know some of the other people on here. I feel like I probably mention this way too much, but I’ve learned a lot more about myself through the writings of others. 

I remember a lot of my earlier posts would be just complaining, complaining about things that didn’t even matter. However, when I got to read some of the other posts out there, I immediately realized that I could have it worse, so much worse. It really put into perspective what I am thankful for, no matter how small or insignificant it may be. Time is the most precious gift, words from the heart were the best medicine. Anyways, if you are reading this, YOU, you are the reason that I still come back to this website 2 years later. Even if you’re one of my regulars [looking at you pouringmyartout], or if you’re just stopping by because of a random post that you had some sort of connection with. The Lucid Dreaming one seems to be a hit…I’ve seen a lot of WP accounts start, then die off and then just disappear and it does feel like I’m losing a bit of myself, especially if I ever had the opportunity to exchange words with you. 

I make it a point to get back to every person that has either followed, commented, liked because I think that it’s important that if you took the time to reach out, why don’t I have the time to return the favor? Anyways, thanks for all the support everyone. Those awards that I received…all from you. To me WP awards don’t really mean too much, but just the fact that someone took the time to nominate me for my mediocre writing (ha!) is what really means the most. Which is why I do them, so that I could get recognition back your way. Life is good on this end, I wish the same for you on yours. Just have to remember that happiness is the journey, not the destination. Keep being awesome! [Also I just realized this is my 90th post, good way to end to years with a even number :P

beingbetter

January 24, 2012

Cross-Roads

 

Every one will eventually reach a crossroad in their life. Sometimes, the decision on which path to take is clear cut, but other times it can be a life changing one. As I sit here, mid-homework, I realize that I’m about to come to one of those cross roads. But before I go further into that I just want to reflect on who I am, and how I got here.

I was always the quiet kid. I was always that one kid that would rather be left alone. The one that always sat in the corner. Maybe it was just me trying to cope in a life without a father. I was only 5 or so at the time, but it was a dark time for me. Scary too, since I just moved to the United States not long after. (Most people don’t know, but English is my second language.) Anyways, it was in these times that I was trying to figure out what love truly was, what friendship could bring to a person. My mother (who is the most wonderful person in the world by the way!) was the person that first taught me that friendships have no boundaries. Being young at the time, and going through a stage of life where kids are first to judge on appearance rather than substance of personality, most kids didn’t really want to have anything to do with me. All because I didn’t have the same hue of skin color and ultimately didn’t look like them. I didn’t mind, but on the inside I did. All I wanted was to have a normal life and for people to accept me.

No boundaries

As I grew and finished elementary school and started to progress through middle school I made some friends here and there. I was lucky because these were the friends that were always by my side, no matter what. I still hang out with them even today from time to time. It was a little surprising because being thrown in a new country and what-not I had no idea what to expect or even what a normal life would consist of. I mean there was nothing wrong with me, except the fact that I had no family. Except for my mom. Bless her soul. She was the one that helped me become the person that I am today. She taught me that true friendships have no boundaries, and that happiness is a mode of transportation. Not the destination. Because of these two little pieces of invaluable advice, as well as a whole lifetime of others, I was able to break myself out of that self-doubt and truly live the life that was meant for me.

Happiness is a key point in my life. I always wondered why I was never happy growing up. I was never happy as a kid. Maybe because I was missing half of my parenthood. But that person is out of my life now, he never had anything to do with me and that’s fine. We move on. That’s just how it goes. Happiness is just a matter of how you look at things. The fact that I’m breathing right now, and that I’m relatively healthy is enough for me. One thing that I found though, in order to be happy, is that you have to accept yourself. Nobody’s perfect. I can’t stress that enough. I looked past all of my insecurities and realized that I was much stronger than I had previously thought to be. I was able to become familiar with a majority of the students in my highschool enough that I was voted Prom King senior year. I never thought in a million years that that would have happened to me. I would definitely be the last person on my mind that would’ve won something like that. It’s usually all the football players that get nominated for that stuff. But just being myself was the key. The football guys actually voted for me! Not only that, but I finished high school ranked 4 out of 289 with a cum gpa of 4.5 (Not that that kind of stuff matters in college anyways.) But I’m not trying to brag, the point I’m trying to make is that you are the captain of your own life.

It's all you.

You choose where you want to go. And attitude really goes a long way. Knowing that you will be happy will be significantly more successful than hoping you will be happy. It’s all up to you.

Considering that, I’ve also learned that we are all human. It doesn’t matter our skin color or ethnicity or religion. We are all of the same flesh and blood. Why we go/have gone to war over trivial details as those is beyond me. We’re all living this life together. And there is no reason to make it harder for each other. It truly saddens me to know that there are still racial issues around the world, and although I may have not have been victim to a stoning or lynching or any other thing as horrible as that, I still know the pain of being alienated. It’s truly a sad thing.

On another note, I’ve also seen the good that humanity has to offer. There are still good people out there. Definitely harder to find nowadays, but still there nonetheless. I’ve had the good fortune to be raised by a strong woman and to have continuously met others as I have gone through my own trials and tribulations. And I just want to give thanks to those people, even though they’ve moved on with their own lives and may never read this. Not only that but, I also wanted to thank all of the people that I’ve met here too. If you’ve made it down this far, you guys are definitely keepers :P But really, I created this blog with the expectations of me being the only reader and that this would be a place where I would just keep my own memories for memories’ sake. So thank you for your unbridled support.

Anyways, so back to where I am now. I’ve reached that crossroad, and I’ve made a decision. I will become an officer in the Air Force as soon as I graduate. The training for it has already started for this semester (AFROTC) and it’s going to be tough. The road seems uncertain because there are so many others that have chosen to walk this path that I have chosen. This is the semester that will make or break me. Looking back, it was the kindness of other people that has gotten me this far and through this kindness I’d like to give something back. So wish me luck! I’ve already had a few honors being in the program but it’s all about the grades now. So here’s to a productive semester, which means that I may have to give up this blog for awhile…at least until I know for sure. So once again, I thank you for making it with me this far and inspiring me with all of your posts! You guys have had a real impact on how I view things, and that is a gift far greater than any tangible object. And don’t forget, it’s because of the sacrifices of people like Jim (see photo below) that we are able to say the things we do, without any fear or threat of consequence. So remember, that one day, that kid that you never knew may be the one that will give the ultimate sacrifice so that you can stay comfortable in your homes and share your thoughts with others. There’s no need for hate. Especially when we’re all in this together.

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