Posts tagged ‘thanksgiving’

November 12, 2012

Sleep Paralysis Pt.2

I have been feeling terrible the past couple days, and I think it’s just a combination of not sleeping enough, worrying about financial things, and just being ready for Thanksgiving Break. Last night I decided to do the unthinkable and actually go to bed at a decent time. Mostly because my body wouldn’t have been able to handle being awake for another couple hours. I’m literally running on fumes here. But I decided to go to sleep. And that’s when it started to get strange.

I was driving in my car and it was pitch black outside. It really reminded me of one of those old, black and white movies. Had a couple friends in the backseat, just jokin’ around and such. I noticed however that I could barely see the road though, and also to my surprise that my headlights weren’t working. I tried to drive at a good pace until when I rounded the corner and ran over this random snowbank. After one of my friends suggested that I should get my eyes checked in a joking manner, we kept driving. Every minute it started to get harder to see considering it just kept getting darker. After I swerved again and nearly went into the other lane, I decided that I should probably turn off the road and stop for a bit.

I was starting to get a bit nervous in that there wasn’t any turnoffs. I finally found one and started to slow down to get off of the main road, only to my horror that it was the street of where I used to live. For some reason there was an immense feeling of dread, and I knew that something was terribly wrong because for some reason I shouldn’t be here. As I continued driving down the road I just knew that it was just an omen to be there right now.

This is where things started to be terrifying. I knew that if I continued down this road something really bad was going to happen. So out of sheer willpower, I was able to do something that I have never done before. I turned the car around. At that exact moment, whatever was guiding me down that road, to my old house didn’t want me to turn away. It was an absolute struggle to turn the car around, and at that moment I heard something in the backseat. It definitely wasn’t my friends anymore, and I fought with all of my strength not to turn around and see what had replaced them.

At that exact moment, whatever was trying to get me to go to my old house let up, and I woke up. Something was kind of odd, in that when I went to bed, I left the kitchen light on and it wasn’t on anymore. I couldn’t see that sliver of light from under my door. Not only that but not even five minutes had passed since I had that numbing dream. I found myself lying on my back once more, and decided to get up to go see why the light had turned off. The only thing was I couldn’t get up. I was literally paralyzed. I have never felt more helpless in my life. I gave every ounce of strength I had into moving my arm. It’s like one of those time when you’re arm or leg falls asleep and you try to move it, and it’s not necessarily painful but it’s scary in the lack of control you have in moving.

I tried not to panic, but I remember being in a similar situation just last year and what soon followed. I knew that I had to get up before it came. I was nearly in tears but I managed to get myself up, although I couldn’t feel a damn thing. I struggled to make my way over to my bedroom door and managed to open it with what little feeling there was in my fingers. The hallway was dark and panic started to seep into my mind knowing that the light should have still been on. I tried to make my way across the hallway to the bathroom when I heard a loud bang. My knee ended up hitting the door frame. Hard.

As I struggled to figure out what was going on…I started to black out. When I woke up, I found myself in my bed. I looked at my alarm clock and saw that only 20 minutes had passed since going to sleep. I looked over at my door and saw the thin sliver of light from the kitchen from under the door. I sat up, with ease this time, in the dark and felt tears rolling down my face.

I have never been in a nightmare that bad, and have the strength to determine the outcome of it. I have never woke up from one nightmare into another, with the feeling of absolute helplessness as I tried so desperately to move. All I knew was that I wanted to live, and if I would have continued to the end of that street I knew instinctively that something bad would happen. How and why did I know? I honestly have no idea, I just knew. What is wrong with me?

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December 10, 2011

Dead Quiet

So this seems to happen to me every single year. The prospects of such a great break and all of the things that I can get accomplished is just swirling through my mind at the moment. There is just so many things that I want to be able to do this break and that is the only thing on my mind at the moment. Finally getting a chance to sleep, maybe even eat some food (thank god, since I was starting to run out of crumbs on my carpet anyway <—jk that’s gross). The possibilities are endless.

However, there is just one more obstacle in the way. It is commonly known to many as a stocky, myopic man who utilizes four powerful, mechanical appendages, and is obsessed with proving his own genius and destroying Spider-man. AKA, my finals. I’m sure many can attest…but motivation at this point is like the box of thin mints that you bought for yourself and you told your room mates that they could help themselves to it, only to find that 2 hours later nothing is left. Not even the box…or your wallet for that matter.

It doesn’t even feel like Christmas is around the corner. I could’ve swore that when I was a kid that all of the grown-ups really looked forward to the holidays. Houses on our block would be covered in the usual festive lights. There would actually be Christmas carolers and hot chocolate and the slowly growing pile of presents under our tree. I don’t know, but it seems really different these days. Christmas seems more of a marketing ploy than the remembrance of what happened on this day in history…I feel that people have really forgotten the meaning of Christmas and of the holidays in general. It seems that Thanksgiving is just a ploy to fill your stomachs to the maximum capacity, followed by Black Friday (where it’s starting to become the norm that people are being trampled to death in the quest to save a few bucks…) which then leads to Christmas.

Courtesy of TheOatmeal

Oh wait…whoa whoa. I’m glad you caught me deviating from studying. Better get back to it then, eh? Plus I dont even know where I was going with this one. Sigh…

November 21, 2011

Home is where…the food is.

So it’s been a few days into Thanksgiving break already, and I couldn’t be any more happy to be back home. Not only because of the abundance of food…but also because I’m home with the family. Actually, come to think of it, I’m really lucky that I even made it back home on the drive down. I’m pretty sure the entire town was leaving the exact same day and what should have been a three hour drive turned into a 5 hour endurance test of patience.

People were just rushing to get back home, and I understand that. But you don’t have to put others at risk in the process. I passed 8 accidents on the way home and it wasn’t even in bad weather…It seemed like everybody was ok though, just a lot of rear-enders and fenderbenders. The accidents really backed up the traffic which is what took the extra time. But needless to say, I made it.

I left school to come down for home that friday which also happened to be my mom’s birthday. Just being able to make it back home for that and seeing her smile totally erased all of the memories of that horrendous nightmare of a drive. I wasn’t able to get anything for her before coming down…but she said that me making it home safely was enough of a birthday present for her. That just made me feel even more guilty. But I will find something to make up for it…

Anyways, besides that, I really don’t have anything much to write about. Oh yea, our kitchen is stockpiled with food for Thanksgiving. That and I am over a hundred miles away from my roommates. I am so grateful…so…so grateful.

November 12, 2011

Break

This is it then. One more week until the start of Thanksgiving Break. I can’t wait to go home. As I sit here trying to come up with something to write about, the only thing that comes to mind is sitting at home eating never ending mounds of mashed potatoes, stuffing, and of course…turkey. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love it up here, going to school and being with friends. I don’t like the ‘being hungry as a homeless man’ part of being a college student but oh well, I’m still alive right? However, one thing that does weird me out at times are my roommates. I guess one lesson that I’ve learned so far is that if you want to learn more about somebody…try living with them.

So if you’re thinking ‘aw, well they can’t be that bad’…well think again. Alright for example, November for most people gets pretty cold right? And I know that most people lower the heat in the house as to save energy, I know because my parents do it too. But I didn’t think it meant that the temperature in our house had to equal that of the inside of the freezer. I mean it would probably be warmer if you just opened up all of the windows in the house, while is was blizzarding outside. Yea, don’t forget the front door too. I mean, luckily my parents gave me a little space heater earlier in the year and it has been my best friend since. I heard body heat works exceptionally well too, but I haven’t found anyone else to share it with ;)

Oh god that last line was lame…

Ok, ok, so maybe having low temperatures in your house isn’t too far off. But what about this one. So when you enter our front door, you enter a mid level platform thing. Basically from here you can either go upstairs or downstairs. Now looking upstairs from the front door will take your gaze right to the kitchen. And every morning after my first class I go home for a bit since I don’t have class until later. And every morning I am met with the creepiest gaze from my creepiest roommate. R as he shall be known. R will just stand there in the kitchen, usually with mug in hand (usually filled with yogurt) arms crossed and will always be staring at me as I untie my shoes…I feel so awkward everytime.

Oh, here’s another one. So last night (11/11/11) I was minding my own business in my room…well actually I just got up from a nap since I was exhausted throughout the day. Plus I thought I had lost my wallet…but long story short I took a nap to try and take some stress off of myself. Anyways, I went to the bathroom which is just right next to my room. Now even as I was sleeping I heard some odd noises, but I just played it off as the wind outside. But in the bathroom it was much clearer. From the sound of it, it was just my other roommate cursing at his physics homework. I mean its all good, we all get mad at homework, especially physics. But just from what I heard, I felt as if an old man…or a witch or something with a high nasally voice was in our house. It was so weird…I almost wanted to go check in his room to see if he was alright, but I decided against it. This was the same roommate that I came home one day and walked in on in the bathroom because the lights were off and the door was halfway open. Awkward…I can’t even look him straight in the face anymore without nearly laughing to death on the inside. I mean come on, close the door! I really didn’t need to see the excruciating pain on his face as he was trying to release a megabomb #2.

Oh my gosh, these are just some of the things that I have to deal with on a day to day basis…and will be something that I will not be missing as I head home to my family, food, and a nice warm bed even if it may be just for a week. So I say to you, keep up that final push towards break. Because I know I will…it just can’t get here soon enough for me.

Cheers!

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