Posts tagged ‘sleep paralysis’

November 12, 2012

Sleep Paralysis Pt.2

I have been feeling terrible the past couple days, and I think it’s just a combination of not sleeping enough, worrying about financial things, and just being ready for Thanksgiving Break. Last night I decided to do the unthinkable and actually go to bed at a decent time. Mostly because my body wouldn’t have been able to handle being awake for another couple hours. I’m literally running on fumes here. But I decided to go to sleep. And that’s when it started to get strange.

I was driving in my car and it was pitch black outside. It really reminded me of one of those old, black and white movies. Had a couple friends in the backseat, just jokin’ around and such. I noticed however that I could barely see the road though, and also to my surprise that my headlights weren’t working. I tried to drive at a good pace until when I rounded the corner and ran over this random snowbank. After one of my friends suggested that I should get my eyes checked in a joking manner, we kept driving. Every minute it started to get harder to see considering it just kept getting darker. After I swerved again and nearly went into the other lane, I decided that I should probably turn off the road and stop for a bit.

I was starting to get a bit nervous in that there wasn’t any turnoffs. I finally found one and started to slow down to get off of the main road, only to my horror that it was the street of where I used to live. For some reason there was an immense feeling of dread, and I knew that something was terribly wrong because for some reason I shouldn’t be here. As I continued driving down the road I just knew that it was just an omen to be there right now.

This is where things started to be terrifying. I knew that if I continued down this road something really bad was going to happen. So out of sheer willpower, I was able to do something that I have never done before. I turned the car around. At that exact moment, whatever was guiding me down that road, to my old house didn’t want me to turn away. It was an absolute struggle to turn the car around, and at that moment I heard something in the backseat. It definitely wasn’t my friends anymore, and I fought with all of my strength not to turn around and see what had replaced them.

At that exact moment, whatever was trying to get me to go to my old house let up, and I woke up. Something was kind of odd, in that when I went to bed, I left the kitchen light on and it wasn’t on anymore. I couldn’t see that sliver of light from under my door. Not only that but not even five minutes had passed since I had that numbing dream. I found myself lying on my back once more, and decided to get up to go see why the light had turned off. The only thing was I couldn’t get up. I was literally paralyzed. I have never felt more helpless in my life. I gave every ounce of strength I had into moving my arm. It’s like one of those time when you’re arm or leg falls asleep and you try to move it, and it’s not necessarily painful but it’s scary in the lack of control you have in moving.

I tried not to panic, but I remember being in a similar situation just last year and what soon followed. I knew that I had to get up before it came. I was nearly in tears but I managed to get myself up, although I couldn’t feel a damn thing. I struggled to make my way over to my bedroom door and managed to open it with what little feeling there was in my fingers. The hallway was dark and panic started to seep into my mind knowing that the light should have still been on. I tried to make my way across the hallway to the bathroom when I heard a loud bang. My knee ended up hitting the door frame. Hard.

As I struggled to figure out what was going on…I started to black out. When I woke up, I found myself in my bed. I looked at my alarm clock and saw that only 20 minutes had passed since going to sleep. I looked over at my door and saw the thin sliver of light from the kitchen from under the door. I sat up, with ease this time, in the dark and felt tears rolling down my face.

I have never been in a nightmare that bad, and have the strength to determine the outcome of it. I have never woke up from one nightmare into another, with the feeling of absolute helplessness as I tried so desperately to move. All I knew was that I wanted to live, and if I would have continued to the end of that street I knew instinctively that something bad would happen. How and why did I know? I honestly have no idea, I just knew. What is wrong with me?

March 19, 2012

Try Lucid Dreaming they said. It will be fun they said.

So Spring Break is now over and now all I have left is just that last push of a few painful months until I can finally enjoy some time away from school. The finish line is so close…but there’s just so much that’s going to be taking place in the next few months that the stress is really getting to me. What I will be doing in the future depends on the outcome of the few weeks to come. Anyways, with that being said, I haven’t been feeling too well lately.

I haven’t really been myself recently either, which I’m definitely kicking myself for (haven’t really said the smartest things in the last few days)…probably too much cough syrup haha. Yea, I’ll just go with that. Cough Syrup…yum. And I hate the notion of being drowsy all the time.

So I’ve been reading some articles on lucid dreaming and thought “Wow, maybe being able to control your dreams would be a pretty neat thing!” Now I really have no idea what lucid dreaming is and what it entails. I am absolutely not an expert with this kind of stuff and I probably should have just left it at that. I really should have left it at that. I really should have.

What I thought lucid dreaming would be like...

Anyways, I was feeling really tired after my classes and had the opportunity to take about an hour long nap. Being the foolish opportunist that I am, I decided that this would be a perfect chance to try to have a lucid dream of myself. Make myself the hero, you know that kind of thing. Now for this sort of thing I guess you’re supposed to lay on your back and relax until you ultimately fall asleep. The thing is I never really knew when I did fall asleep.

My room was dark to start with, nearly pitch black and I could hear all of the noises around me. The noises coming from the house. Water in the pipes. The wind blowing around my window. That kind of stuff. And since I was laying on my back I had a clear view of my door. Now if you haven’t caught on from previous posts, I don’t really enjoy the company of my roommates (but that’s another story…) Anyways I could faintly make out my door being opened very slowly and saw a shadowy figure, what I made out to be my roommate, walking towards my bed. I was about to get pissed really fast since he didn’t knock first of all, and I felt a prank coming on. The thing was all I could do was watch. And as the figure slowly came closer to my bed I noticed that he was holding something in his hand.

I could see him coming closer and I attempted to say something, anything to let him know that the gig was up. That I could see what he was up to. But no sound came from my voice. And I still couldn’t move. I began to panic as I couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on. All the while the figure kept coming closer to my bed, creeping ever so slowly. As it was right on top of me that’s when I broke awake in a cold sweat.

I took in a deep breath of air, since I must not have been breathing the whole time. My mouth had the faint taste of copper, of blood. My room was still dark. The door was closed, as I had left it. But what the fuck, I could’ve swore that my roommate was in my room…

I walked out into the hallway then went upstairs only to realize, to my horror, that nobody was home. Everything was dark. Everything was the same as it had been since I got home, so no one could’ve stopped by and left while I was ‘sleeping’.

I can’t exactly explain what happened. All I know is that I wasn’t dreaming and that I was still in my room. Everything was or felt real and talking about it now still terrifies me. Whatever was in my room was not my roommate. And I now wonder what it was that it was holding in it’s hand. I looked more into lucid dreaming and there’s another associated phenomena known as Sleep Paralysis. That’s the only conclusion that I can get as to what I was experiencing. I have never been more happy to have woken up from a dream before, but I still am not sure if I can breathe a sigh of relief yet. I have never had a dream that real, that horrifying, with the inability to move or do anything about it as it was about to happen. One thing’s for sure though…I won’t be messing with things that I’m not sure of. And I have to stop reading scary things before going to bed. Oh, and pardon my language…still shaken. But not stirred! (…and that was lame; once again the blame goes to the cough syrup)

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