Time is Relevant

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What the HECK!! Where did my break go?! I could have swore that I was just leaving for home yesterday. But NO, I’m back in this refrigerator of a home, doing everything I can to avoid going upstairs. I’m hearing a parrot or something equally annoying and the last time I checked, we didn’t have one of those. I try to avoid being home most of the time because I have truly eccentric roommates. But that’s a long story.

Have you ever had a song, that when you were down in the dumps, just lifted you into a better place? Well, that video up above is the song that have been keeping my heart beating lately. It’s not really an uplifting kind of tune, but an amazing song nonetheless. For me, all of my favorite songs are associated with some sort of memory that I have. Listening to them takes me back to days when the most stressful thing I had to worry about was which color Flintstones vitamin I wanted before my parents walked me over to school. Haha maybe not that far back. But definitely the days when our family lived together as a family.

I have never experienced this before, but I’ve had a really serious bout of depressive thoughts. Nothing way serious, maybe it was the weather, or leaving the comfort of home again, or just losing a lot of friends to the multiple paths that life has to offer. Waking up when it’s dark and going home when it’s also dark doesn’t really help either. This mood only lasted for a day or so, but to me it seemed like an eternity. It was kind of scary actually.

It made me think about time and why when things go wrong, even if it may be just for an instant, it seems like nothing will ever be right again. I remember once I made my dad so angry because he was teaching me how to grill. But I didn’t want to (being just 11 er whatever at the time) so I just threw the whole 5lb block of hamburger beef into the grill, under the rack thing into the ashes. Wow, I might as well have stepped on a land mine while holding two grenades in a village where the locals stone people for being sarcastic. I was in so much trouble since I practically threw away our dinner and it seemed like I was grounded forever. But it was only for like 2 days.

But when things are great, it’s almost as if they’ve never happened in the first place. I have to keep going through the situation in my mind in a sort of instant replay mode so that I can remember and cherish that memory. For example, once I was with a girl that I really liked. We hung out for a good amount of time; I couldn’t believe how great everything was going. But whatever, it was good. Never got to see her again though. But that’s all I have left, just a memory of a time where nothing mattered. I still have the scars from that whole grilling incident though, god that’ll be a constant reminder haha.

But anyways, I guess I’m deviating here again. The point is that when you’re just loving life, remember those memories because when it starts to get dark again, you’ll have something to look back to and lift you up out of that drudge. And to finish off with a quote from one of my favorite authors

““Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

(Oh, ps I don’t cry by the way. Something just usually flies into my eye at the most inopportune times :P )

It’s what you make it.

So I’ve been thinking about where I want this blog to go for a bit. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pour myself out and expose my own weaknesses and insecurities to people that I don’t even know. It would seem like a dumb idea, but there are others out there that may need to hear what I have to say to possibly relate, because you never know. A friendly hello can change a persons life. I’ve witnessed it. Either that, or keep up my lame attempts at sarcasm, because we all need a good laugh every once in a while. I know I do. Laughing makes everything bearable. Well, most things anyway.

So after some deliberation, I’m going to keep going with the funnies. Or try to anyways. Life is way too short I realize, and there are enough things to worry about. If I constantly made a big deal about the things that I didn’t have then the list would never end. I could complain about not having money. But that’s nothing compared to living…no, surviving in a third world country. I at least have food that I can readily eat, a shelter over my head and the comfort of knowing that I don’t have to fend for my life every single day. No matter how bad your situation may seem, there is always someone in a spot worse than you.

I know it may seem childish or even impossible, but my goal is to help out as many people as I possibly can, in any way possible. We’re all people, we all go through similar if not the exact same things. I know funds for me may be low at the moment but like I said…in any way possible. For example, through this blog. I know it may be little and maybe even stupid but I’m building up to it. If I can bring a smile to even one person who happens to read this (not necessarily this post), then I’m on the right path. Laughter is such a powerful medicine. And in this technology crazy world, it seems the only way I can reach people is through the medium that dominates our lives. How many times have you walked through a crowded place and realized that no one is smiling anymore? How many times have you walked somewhere and never even once thought of taking a deep breathe and looking up towards the warm sunny sky, knowing how precious life is?

So I may seem like someone that doesn’t take into account about what others think, or how they feel. But that is the exact opposite for me. I guess you have to lose something to realize how important it is. I almost lost my mom, who happens to be the best mother a person could ask for in this world. The amount of support that she has given me is unimaginable. She kept both of us strong even through a divorce. Her ‘never give up’ attitude and her incredible faith in God is the reason that I’m here today. She defeated a brain tumor classified as ‘large’ on June 23, 2006, two days after my birthday. I don’t even want to know where I would’ve been if things had turned out differently…But it didn’t and today she is 110%. You wouldn’t even know she had the surgery.

So anyways, that’s what my short term goal is. To make you (yes, you) [really…you] smile. Because time is short and all we can do in this world is make the best out of everything. Your life is what you make it. And with a little faith yourself, you can definitely make it.

Look at the sky every once in a while!!