Posts tagged ‘confused’

February 18, 2012

Am I wrong?

Nothing gets on my nerves more than people that try and make you live a life according to how they live theirs. I go to a church here on campus and I’ve been going for a little over a year. I have a member of the staff (which is just a recent college graduate that really had no motive to pursue anything beyond just graduating) which holds a bible study with me around once a week. At first he wanted to meet 5 out of the 7 days of the week, but there was no way I could do that with the busy schedule that I have.

Now to get things straight, God is a major part of my life. I wouldn’t be where I am right now if it weren’t for the blessings that I have received time and again. Now with these bible studies lately it’s been getting to be more of an interrogation of what I do everyday, who I hang out with, my schedule of what I do right as I wake up to right when I go to sleep. Not only that, but lately this guy here has been pushing me to spend more of my time trying to evangelize and be more like a pastor, and preach the word. I tried to explain that I’m here to get an education and to ultimately become an officer in the Air Force. But for some reason, he doesn’t seem to get how much sacrifice it is to be here right now both in terms of time and money. God gave me this opportunity to take what I have and make the best of it, but no matter how much I explain that school and ROTC is my focus right now he wants me to practically squander this chance and just further the ‘objectives of the church’.

I’m really confused right now, because no matter what I say he always has some bible verse or passage to denounce my goals and dreams. The more I think about it, the more it seems like a cult to me (this church). And I’ve never been in a situation like this before. It really sucks because I can’t argue with this guy. Basically everything I do is wrong, the people who I hang out with is wrong (and also he assumes that since they don’t go to his church that they aren’t true christians and aren’t saved and all of this nonsensical gibberish). Basically, just because I may hang around people that drink every once in a while that I’ll turn into a raging alcoholic or something like that. All I know is that my heart is right with God, but this guy is just really smooth and turning everything I do into something that will send me on a path to hell. Wow.

All I know is that God put this desire for me to help other people and to give my best in everything that I do. But what this guy says is that the ultimate goal is to spread to message to everybody and to become an evangelical preacher. What have I gotten myself into? Am I the wrong one? I miss the days where everything was simple…

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