I have been feeling terrible the past couple days, and I think it’s just a combination of not sleeping enough, worrying about financial things, and just being ready for Thanksgiving Break. Last night I decided to do the unthinkable and actually go to bed at a decent time. Mostly because my body wouldn’t have been able to handle being awake for another couple hours. I’m literally running on fumes here. But I decided to go to sleep. And that’s when it started to get strange.
I was driving in my car and it was pitch black outside. It really reminded me of one of those old, black and white movies. Had a couple friends in the backseat, just jokin’ around and such. I noticed however that I could barely see the road though, and also to my surprise that my headlights weren’t working. I tried to drive at a good pace until when I rounded the corner and ran over this random snowbank. After one of my friends suggested that I should get my eyes checked in a joking manner, we kept driving. Every minute it started to get harder to see considering it just kept getting darker. After I swerved again and nearly went into the other lane, I decided that I should probably turn off the road and stop for a bit.
I was starting to get a bit nervous in that there wasn’t any turnoffs. I finally found one and started to slow down to get off of the main road, only to my horror that it was the street of where I used to live. For some reason there was an immense feeling of dread, and I knew that something was terribly wrong because for some reason I shouldn’t be here. As I continued driving down the road I just knew that it was just an omen to be there right now.
This is where things started to be terrifying. I knew that if I continued down this road something really bad was going to happen. So out of sheer willpower, I was able to do something that I have never done before. I turned the car around. At that exact moment, whatever was guiding me down that road, to my old house didn’t want me to turn away. It was an absolute struggle to turn the car around, and at that moment I heard something in the backseat. It definitely wasn’t my friends anymore, and I fought with all of my strength not to turn around and see what had replaced them.
At that exact moment, whatever was trying to get me to go to my old house let up, and I woke up. Something was kind of odd, in that when I went to bed, I left the kitchen light on and it wasn’t on anymore. I couldn’t see that sliver of light from under my door. Not only that but not even five minutes had passed since I had that numbing dream. I found myself lying on my back once more, and decided to get up to go see why the light had turned off. The only thing was I couldn’t get up. I was literally paralyzed. I have never felt more helpless in my life. I gave every ounce of strength I had into moving my arm. It’s like one of those time when you’re arm or leg falls asleep and you try to move it, and it’s not necessarily painful but it’s scary in the lack of control you have in moving.
I tried not to panic, but I remember being in a similar situation just last year and what soon followed. I knew that I had to get up before it came. I was nearly in tears but I managed to get myself up, although I couldn’t feel a damn thing. I struggled to make my way over to my bedroom door and managed to open it with what little feeling there was in my fingers. The hallway was dark and panic started to seep into my mind knowing that the light should have still been on. I tried to make my way across the hallway to the bathroom when I heard a loud bang. My knee ended up hitting the door frame. Hard.
As I struggled to figure out what was going on…I started to black out. When I woke up, I found myself in my bed. I looked at my alarm clock and saw that only 20 minutes had passed since going to sleep. I looked over at my door and saw the thin sliver of light from the kitchen from under the door. I sat up, with ease this time, in the dark and felt tears rolling down my face.
I have never been in a nightmare that bad, and have the strength to determine the outcome of it. I have never woke up from one nightmare into another, with the feeling of absolute helplessness as I tried so desperately to move. All I knew was that I wanted to live, and if I would have continued to the end of that street I knew instinctively that something bad would happen. How and why did I know? I honestly have no idea, I just knew. What is wrong with me?
On Windy Days 