The clouds are on the verge of spilling its tears. The sun has already fled from its post. The wind creeping ever so slowly through the leaves of it’s branches. The gray sky emitting barely audible growls. These are the days that I thrive in. The days that I feel most alive. These are the days that make me feel as if I have a home, away from home. It is dark. But there is something so familiar about this loneliness. Even though I am in the company of others, I am still alone. I’ve been here before, been lost in it’s wake. I’ve been lost, but also I’ve been found. Rescued from a life of despair. That is not my fate.

Although these days make me feel isolated, it brings me comfort. Why? I don’t really know. Maybe because it brings back memories of when my family was still together. Still happy. Not a care in the world. Back when things were simple.

I ran away from home once. Naive of me. I was only 6 at the time. It was a day similar to this one. It was raining and I just wanted to run away. Far away. I wanted to prove to my parents that I could take care of myself. I felt so free. Running through the empty streets. Only the splash of my footsteps and the rain hitting the metal roofs of the buildings as I passed them. Yet I also felt scared out of my mind. How could I do that to my parents? Make them worried sick? I came back and my parents were there for me. Gave me a big hug and I felt that nothing could ever hurt me. Being in the embrace of both of my parents. Nothing could ever hurt me.

Then my parents split. I was too young to understand it. But I did. Maybe I didn’t know what the exact reasons were. But I knew. From there my world was destroyed. We moved. I lost all of my friends as well as my family as we moved away. No one told me we would never be coming back. I grew up in a broken family. With one parent that truly cared about who I would be as I grew up.

Anyways, I don’t really know how much longer she is going to be around. So I want to keep every memory I have. Write it down. Now, why am I sharing this in the open? Well, I figured I would explain my name a bit more. Plus, although this may seem downcast, but you will never truly know who I am. I may walk past you one day and you would never know. And that’s how I would like to keep it. I’ve already lost too many friends, and I would prefer not to lose anymore. I’m just another person with another blog. Nothing special.

This is why I call rainy days home. It brings back that day when I felt so free. The day that I felt anything was possible. The rain washed away every fear that I had. Even today, it brings me back to that time. Where things were simple and all that was important was each other. It’s starting to rain now.

28 Responses to “Rain”

  1. This is a very touching post. I like the rain too. It can be very therapeutic. I hope you are well there. Thanks for adding me to your blogroll. I’m honoured and humbled by your kind gesture.

    • Thanks :) I’m doing my best. I can’t complain about what I have, is what I mean. It could always be worse. So much worse. And absolutely! It’s the least I can do to help spread your work where I can.

      • :) Thanks a million. I totally appreciate it. I considered doing a blogroll too but haven’t got the chance yet. I will try to get it done soon. It’s certainly a good way to highlight great writers and the people who impact us here. You’re one of a kind and I’m quite sure you’re doing your best. It’s evident in your writings ;)

  2. This is one of the most beautiful and somber things I’ve read in a long time. You are really talented but even more important I think is the way you have with being in touch with your raw feelings.I hope that your mother gets to read these tributes you write for her, she’s very blessed too – you’re an amazing man with an incredible bright future. It’s an honor to read what your thoughts abd feelings are.

    Thanks so much for sharing,

    • Thank you a ton :) I just want to share how I view the world. Because I know there is much more to it than we see. There is so much more. It’s like finding those amazing places that make you appreciate being alive. Haha, maybe one day I’ll show her. She knows how much I care for her and that’s all that matters, I’m pretty sure.

  3. It’s truly fascinating how we both felt very similar yesterday and both wrote about it. I have those memories as well, in which I am free and happy as can be. They aren’t as far back as yours but sometimes it feels like being a million miles away from that feeling of home, security, togetherness and happiness. Thanks for sharing your insights, sometimes you just have to let them out in the open.

    I love the rain most, when it’s coming down heavy and I hear the steady raindrops hitting the roof above me.

    • I know right? Those memories are the best. Right, being away from home seems to make me realize what kind of person I am. I’ve learned a lot in this past year about myself. Some good, some bad. But it’s good to let it out in the open. Haha, I’m not perfect. Thats a given! But I’m still learning. You never stop learning, no matter you’re age.

      Rain is absolutely amazing. You should definitely search google for ‘rainymood’. You won’t be disappointed :)

  4. I swear this is the closest I ever came to crying while reading a blog, and I don’t even cry at my friend’s funerals… sigh…

    • The rain really opens up my mind. I feel a calm unlike any other and a peace that is unreal. I only wanted to share what I was feeling. I am really glad that I was able to evoke emotions as those. It’s something that I’ve been hiding away for quite some time. So thank you. That really means a lot.

  5. Running away at 6 yrs old. Wow. This is really good writing. Yes, take care of every single memories you had/will still be having with your mom because nobody knows the day or the hour of one losing people like that. You are so very lucky to be loved the way she loves you. :)

    I love the rain too.

    • Yea, I was stupid. Haha, maybe I still am now. I will try though. The scariest thing for me is to forget everything that made me who I am today. All the triumphs, all the defeats. Not realizing my background, my family, the people I have met along the way and what I overcame. Just drifting in this life. That would be the scariest.

      I used to think rain was God shedding tears for all the sorrow in the world.

  6. Something about the way you write, tugs the heart strings. It’s special. Keep writing. :-)

    • Maiya, coming from you, I don’t even know how to respond. Never in a million years would I have imagined a person with your gift of words to tell me that something that I wrote was special. Haha, maybe I’m just a bit sentimental eh? But no really, thanks :)

  7. Don’t wait too long to show her,….. please?

  8. Touching story! You may not have any influence over the way your life begins but the future depends a lot on you. You can make all the difference anywhere you choose to and to any degree! Wishing you a better tomorrow. I love the rains and windy days too!

    • True words at that. If you have the passion and the drive to do what you want to do, it is definitely possible to go where you want to in life. Haha, and thank you. Aren’t they the best?

      • I see wisdom all over your words! Keep doing things right and heading in the right direction; everything will turn out right! Enjoy the rains and the winds. Thanks for the nice words on my posts!

  9. So glad you revealed a little of what you don’t reveal…I totally understand…being a loner myself…and loving rainy days for how they enclose one and make running away about going within rather than without. Really enjoyed this!

  10. Ah well thank you! I feel that sometimes you learn more about yourself going through situations alone. It really shows what kind of character that you have. But that being said, I found that it is also important surrounding yourself with people that have a positive outlook on life. Similar interests similar goals right?

  11. I have no words. I join the words of other commentators, this is amazing, so beautiful, touching. I have been having a lot almost delusional flashbacks of feelings or certain emotions from the past lately, and today rained a lot all day long. The rain and it’s sound wakes memories of very early childhood. Seeing kids jump in puddles with their rain boots. Raindrops making ripples on puddles on the street. It’s sound is pacifying, it’s like summer rain, even when it’s damn cold outside right now. Coming inside wet and freezing is actually quite nice. And it’s also warm in the bus and nice to sit down after a long day.

    And, like Barefoot baroness said, don’t wait too long to show your mum how much you appreciate her love and support. I’m sure she would be very happy and touched, like we are too.

    • Ah thank you :) Yea, there’s just something about the rain that allows you to remember the things that you lock away in your heart. Good or bad. It’s an amazing feeling when you just watch the rain fall outside and it’s just dark and gray. There’s nothing as therapeutic as that. Thanks for taking the time to read this one. Out of all of my posts I think this one was probably the hardest to write.

      And I definitely will. She already knows how much I love her haha! Although I guess it wouldn’t hurt to mention it more often… :P

  12. This post was poetry disguised as prose. I feel at home on rainy days to, there is something liberating about the earth letting itself go. Of course you are special, we all are. Everyone on here because we all have a voice, quiet or loud. Even those annoying bloggers who are as right wing as it gets are special, just in their own way ;)
    I am sorry about your mother. I come from a broken family too. Just remember to always put the fun in dysFUNctional!! Writing is a wonderful way to preserve the memories. When I look back through my notebook of poems, drawings, newspaper clippings, pictures, notes etc I relive them all, the good and the bad.
    Have a great Friday night and weekend! Don’t party too late lol ;)
    Andrea XOXO

    • Right! Everyone has their own voice and that is what makes everyone unique. If we were to open our minds and listen to each other every once in a while it would be astounding to realize how much in common people have with each other. But I remember you mentioning that about your family. But hey, we only became stronger as a result eh? We have a bit more appreciation for the things that matter around us. I can tell through your writings :)
      Haha, but yea thanks! Hopefully your Friday was great as well! I know mine was ;) But sleep does sounds really good at the moment :/

  13. I love the rain. And this was a beautiful post. Out here, our April’s are hot, hot, hot. And then, starting mid-May till about August, you can’t go out without getting wet. There are times I just stand in the rain and watch everybody around me running for cover. And then, there are times I see another person doing the same. :)

    • Ah well thanks Tanya :) Ooh, already hot in April!? Spring is definitely one of my favorite seasons. But here it only lasts for a few weeks, maybe a month…until it gets hot as well. But we don’t have any humidity, which is the worst haha!


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