Cross-Roads

 

Every one will eventually reach a crossroad in their life. Sometimes, the decision on which path to take is clear cut, but other times it can be a life changing one. As I sit here, mid-homework, I realize that I’m about to come to one of those cross roads. But before I go further into that I just want to reflect on who I am, and how I got here.

I was always the quiet kid. I was always that one kid that would rather be left alone. The one that always sat in the corner. Maybe it was just me trying to cope in a life without a father. I was only 5 or so at the time, but it was a dark time for me. Scary too, since I just moved to the United States not long after. (Most people don’t know, but English is my second language.) Anyways, it was in these times that I was trying to figure out what love truly was, what friendship could bring to a person. My mother (who is the most wonderful person in the world by the way!) was the person that first taught me that friendships have no boundaries. Being young at the time, and going through a stage of life where kids are first to judge on appearance rather than substance of personality, most kids didn’t really want to have anything to do with me. All because I didn’t have the same hue of skin color and ultimately didn’t look like them. I didn’t mind, but on the inside I did. All I wanted was to have a normal life and for people to accept me.

No boundaries

As I grew and finished elementary school and started to progress through middle school I made some friends here and there. I was lucky because these were the friends that were always by my side, no matter what. I still hang out with them even today from time to time. It was a little surprising because being thrown in a new country and what-not I had no idea what to expect or even what a normal life would consist of. I mean there was nothing wrong with me, except the fact that I had no family. Except for my mom. Bless her soul. She was the one that helped me become the person that I am today. She taught me that true friendships have no boundaries, and that happiness is a mode of transportation. Not the destination. Because of these two little pieces of invaluable advice, as well as a whole lifetime of others, I was able to break myself out of that self-doubt and truly live the life that was meant for me.

Happiness is a key point in my life. I always wondered why I was never happy growing up. I was never happy as a kid. Maybe because I was missing half of my parenthood. But that person is out of my life now, he never had anything to do with me and that’s fine. We move on. That’s just how it goes. Happiness is just a matter of how you look at things. The fact that I’m breathing right now, and that I’m relatively healthy is enough for me. One thing that I found though, in order to be happy, is that you have to accept yourself. Nobody’s perfect. I can’t stress that enough. I looked past all of my insecurities and realized that I was much stronger than I had previously thought to be. I was able to become familiar with a majority of the students in my highschool enough that I was voted Prom King senior year. I never thought in a million years that that would have happened to me. I would definitely be the last person on my mind that would’ve won something like that. It’s usually all the football players that get nominated for that stuff. But just being myself was the key. The football guys actually voted for me! Not only that, but I finished high school ranked 4 out of 289 with a cum gpa of 4.5 (Not that that kind of stuff matters in college anyways.) But I’m not trying to brag, the point I’m trying to make is that you are the captain of your own life.

It's all you.

You choose where you want to go. And attitude really goes a long way. Knowing that you will be happy will be significantly more successful than hoping you will be happy. It’s all up to you.

Considering that, I’ve also learned that we are all human. It doesn’t matter our skin color or ethnicity or religion. We are all of the same flesh and blood. Why we go/have gone to war over trivial details as those is beyond me. We’re all living this life together. And there is no reason to make it harder for each other. It truly saddens me to know that there are still racial issues around the world, and although I may have not have been victim to a stoning or lynching or any other thing as horrible as that, I still know the pain of being alienated. It’s truly a sad thing.

On another note, I’ve also seen the good that humanity has to offer. There are still good people out there. Definitely harder to find nowadays, but still there nonetheless. I’ve had the good fortune to be raised by a strong woman and to have continuously met others as I have gone through my own trials and tribulations. And I just want to give thanks to those people, even though they’ve moved on with their own lives and may never read this. Not only that but, I also wanted to thank all of the people that I’ve met here too. If you’ve made it down this far, you guys are definitely keepers :P But really, I created this blog with the expectations of me being the only reader and that this would be a place where I would just keep my own memories for memories’ sake. So thank you for your unbridled support.

Anyways, so back to where I am now. I’ve reached that crossroad, and I’ve made a decision. I will become an officer in the Air Force as soon as I graduate. The training for it has already started for this semester (AFROTC) and it’s going to be tough. The road seems uncertain because there are so many others that have chosen to walk this path that I have chosen. This is the semester that will make or break me. Looking back, it was the kindness of other people that has gotten me this far and through this kindness I’d like to give something back. So wish me luck! I’ve already had a few honors being in the program but it’s all about the grades now. So here’s to a productive semester, which means that I may have to give up this blog for awhile…at least until I know for sure. So once again, I thank you for making it with me this far and inspiring me with all of your posts! You guys have had a real impact on how I view things, and that is a gift far greater than any tangible object. And don’t forget, it’s because of the sacrifices of people like Jim (see photo below) that we are able to say the things we do, without any fear or threat of consequence. So remember, that one day, that kid that you never knew may be the one that will give the ultimate sacrifice so that you can stay comfortable in your homes and share your thoughts with others. There’s no need for hate. Especially when we’re all in this together.

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13 Comments to “Cross-Roads”

  1. I just gotta say, I freaking love you for this. And all of the pictures you used bring emotions to someone like me, meaning they are good pictures. I have seen happenings synonymous with “honor after the fall” a couple times, and the picture with the caption “no boundaries” is also something a lot of people might not understand the true gravity of if they havent been exposed to the real world.

  2. Also, best of luck in the Airforce! My uncle (retired) and three of my cousins are in the Airforce, and they have all been deployed several times. It’ will be a rewarding experience, I can guarantee you that.

    • That is such an exciting thing to look forward to. And thank you. I’m glad that I was able to convey some sort of emotion through this post. This one was really tough to write, some really personal things. But I figure I would share it with others too! Who knows, maybe there is one sentence in there that they just need to hear!

  3. It’s so sad that you didn’t have a father to be there when you needed an advice or anything else. At least you have your mother that supports you, loves you and is always there for you. I’m happy to hear that you decided to choose a new path in your life. I know how difficult it is to say “ok…from now on I want to do this”. Good luck with everything!

    • It is sad. Sometimes, I just wish I had a normal life with both loving parents. But hey, that’s not how life goes huh. But my mother is literally the only reason I am here today, that I’m able to stand proud even though I may not have had the perfect family setting that is just missing in today’s world. But it’s all good haha, and thank you so much. Hopefully all goes well, we’ll see!

  4. Wow! That’s such a major decision. I admire our armed forces so much, and yet I never want my friends to join because I’m always afraid for them. I’ll be thinking about you. Good luck, and I know you’ll be great! You’ve always been a high flyer…get it, high flyer, cause the Air Force…god, I kill me!

    • Haha, you are so funny. I miss reading your posts, but hey by the time I get back I’ll be able to catch up on my reading, because I’m sure you’ll have a ton of posts by then! And I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile, and now’s my opportunity, so we’ll see where that takes me :D I just got to go for it!

  5. This is a gem. I’m glad I decided to visit your blog today. Thank you and good luck with your plans! At least one of us already has one. That’s so rad ;)

  6. Wish you luck from all my heart. Big decisions hard to make, but soon after you start feeling like it would be the most normal thing. Hope you reach your goals, you’re good example for all of us. :)

    • Oh my gosh, thank you so much. Coming from you…that really means a lot. I hope that you are doing well, that life is treating you well. That’s always been my goal, to help others out. Now we’ll see where this takes me :)

  7. Awesome post. Your points about happiness and connectedness really hit home when placed against the backdrop of your story. Thanks for sharing this with the world! You have a good heart and a real, day-to-day wisdom. Keep living a full life and sharing what you learn. Best of luck as you finish school and join the Air Force.

    • No problem! Thank you for taking the time to read it. I always enjoy your takes on the different aspects of life and what the most important things are. Always enlightening! Anyways, thank you so much for the encouragement. It really does mean a lot. I wish you luck in your endeavors and please continue sharing your own experiences!

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